FUN LINKS

Chicago Theater

ARFTCo
Bailiwick Repertory Theatre
Chicago Comedy Association
Greta Mae Productions
Dick O'Day
Harvey Finklestein's Institute of Whimsical, Fantastical, and Marvelous Puppet Masterage
Little House On The Parody
Live Bait Theater
Plays In Perpetuity
The Saints
Soliloquy
Theatre Building Chicago
Uptown Theatre and Center for the Arts

and also in Los Angeles...

The Company Theatre

and also in Baltimore...

Spotlighters Theatre

Blogs We Love

A Hole In The Head
Alexandra Billings
Andymatic
BC's Twenty Years And Counting
Chris Stein
Daveland Diary
Feeling Kinda Blog Today
Go Away, I'm Reading
House Theatre
It's A Sunshine Day!
Jere-Rigged
Mamie Inside/Out
Mr. Hell's Kitchen
NOFO
NO MILK
Perfect Perfection
Side Effects Include WHAT Now?
This Woman Is Dangerous
Useless! Worthless! Insipid!
Wanda Wisdom
Windy City Queercast
Yeast Radio

People We Love

Andi World
Another Lousy Day
Aria Salon
B-Girlz
The Best of Everything
Blondie
Charles Busch
Data Lounge
Gerber Hart Library
Glitchworks
Kevin Matthews
Knight at the Movies
Letterheads
Loving Jayne Mansfield
Lon Ellenberger
Madge Weinstein
Million For Marriage
Night Spies
Rick Aguilar, Photographer
S&J CD Duplication
Steve Kimbrough
Think Tank Graphics
Tippi Hedren's ROAR Foundation

POSEIDON!

The Official Carol Lynley Home Page
Disaster Online
Ernest Borgnine
Fred Sadoff Official Website
The Official Maureen McGovern Website
The Pamela Sue Martin Home Page
The Poseidon Adventure
Poseidon Adventure Fan Club
Red Buttons.net
Roddy McDowell
The First Shelley Winters Website
Stellavisions

Handblog Archives

10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007

And also...

David interviews Margaret Cho

read the handblog...

11/29/2003

My Way of Life

Things that make you go yuck? This, to me this is more disturbing that Mr. Jackson's controversy, although I do like how the invitation asks you to wear something 'hot and sexy'.
I hope you had a relatively decent Thanksgiving. Get it? RELATIVE-ly? Oh, sometimes I just can't control my lighting fast wit. It just pours out of me. I suppose it's a gift. A gift I must share with the world. How was my Thanksgiving? I don't really like to go into my family life because they are entitled to their privacy but it was a drama free event. Bea cooked a delicious meal and the my nephews and nieces ruled the home with their shenanigans and such. They are 5, 4, 2, and 1, with another one on the way. This is all from the same incredibly fertile sister who seems to be making up for the fact that none of the other siblings are not going to be creating any children in the near future.

Last night was the the premiere of Fa-La-La This 2, and I haven't been so nervous in a long time. There were 4 pages of words to memorize and a critic. I was tempted to take a sedative but that silly 12 step program doesn't allow it, so it was just me, 4 pages of monologue to memory and some thoughts I've never really shared with anybody until that evening. All very therapeutic. My analyst would be sooo proud. I don't have much more time to chat as I have to prepare for another radio interview for Rudolph, the Red-Hosed Reindeer with WLUW, the Loyola University radio station.

CENSORED

Christmas gift ideas? How about a visit from Scotty, the Blue Bunny?

posted by David on 11/29/2003 09:45:00 PM | Link |

 

11/26/2003

My Way of Life

Tis the day before Thanksgiving and all is quiet at work today. Last night I picked up a copy of the cast recording and it sounds very nice. Doesn't top seeing the real thing but I was pleased with the results. So now Mike Miller is busy working on the artwork for the CD packaing and hopefully we'll have the results next week. It's odd to hear your own songs performed. At least for me it is. You have this idea of how they should sound in your head and of course it can never match the actual results, so there you have it.

Holiday gift ideas? Uh... how about SPAM?


posted by David on 11/26/2003 05:16:00 PM | Link |

 

11/25/2003

My Way of Life

Greetings Handbaggers. Tuesday finds me in a pensive mood for you see I'm working on my monologue for Fa-La-La This 2, and I've had to do a lot of introspective soul searching. Sometimes it's a curse to be so complex...

We had tech rehearsals last night and it ran later then I expected. Only 3 of the people in the show made it. Chad couldn't make it, and this new person didn't show either which was not a good sign... R. Kelly, our leader was calm, cool and collected and we listened to each others pieces and offered loving words of encouragement while Iraqi Jackie manned the sound and lights.

Needless to say I need a lot of work but I can tell you that you're in for a treat with Richard 'Madge Weinstein' Bluestein and our own little Brigitte Ditmars channeling Brooke Allen.

My new favorite picture has to be the Michael Jackson mugshot! I think it's soooo perfect. A little Joker, a little Joan Crawford, just perfect!!!! He needs to be in the next Batman movie, he'd be perfect!!!! Too bad he's got all this other stuff going on. Do I have an opinion on my fellow Hoosier? No. Being from both a celebrity and a Gary, IN native like Michael I understand the pressures and trappings of fame. Fame is a cruel mistress that can play tricks with your mind. One minute, you're at the top of the heap, the next your playing a neighbor-lady reindeer... While we're on the subject of stupid, who gives a shit celebrity gossip, does anybody else think Paris Hilton released those sex tapes herself? What a waste of oxygen she is..., Oops, I'm supposed to all spiritual and introspective-like, aren't I? God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...,

posted by David on 11/25/2003 06:57:00 PM | Link |

 

11/24/2003

My Way of Life

Monday morning, and it's snowing, cold and windy. Quite a weekend to report. We finally opened Rudolph the Red-Hosed Reindeer last night and I'm pleased to report not only did the show go better then expected but we also had a sold out house. Just like the sold out house we had for the Saturday preview. Sundays show crackled with energy and I think we were all certainly ready. This was one of the first openings I can think of where there were no major gaffes with sound or lights. A tribute to the fabulous Mac Daddy Vaughn, Jackie Anderson and Anne! We had to share the space this weekend with Greasy Joan Theater Company who were wrapping their Dreams of Desire show this weekend. Judging from the poster, a very serious affair. Here we were in our brown reindeer long johns, tight shiny elf ensembles and loads of eyelashes and foundation. We literally took the place over in a big glittery storm and it must have been a bit overwhelming for them. Sort of like the Clampetts moving in next door to the Drysdales.
There are over 20 of us and the backstage dressing area is about as big as one of those burrito tortillas, so you can imagine the chaos and the smell! Granted, Steve Hickson probably felt at home, but for many of us it was a trying experience and I look forward to having the extra dressing room space next week. Rick Karlin organized a scrumptious post show party and all well in my world until I had to go home and work on my emotionally draining Holiday monologue for Fa-La-La This 2. Ugh! Why can't I just make up stuff like most people do? I wish I could be that phony but alas, dear Handbaggers I can only speak from the heart. For in the end, you would know. I have tech tonight for Fa- La-La Etc. and I have no idea what to do. Maybe I'll call in sick.

Holiday gift ideas? 'Sexy' perfume created by Stella Stevens herself! Each bottle comes with a free autographed picture!

posted by David on 11/24/2003 03:57:00 PM | Link |

 

11/21/2003

My Way of Life

Friday, Bloody Friday. Tonight is our first preview in front of real people. Most of them will probably be friends of the cast and crew, but that's okay, because we're ready to give them the best damn Transvestite Reindeer show you ever saw! Just think, one day some freak will Google transvestite reindeer and this Blog will appear.

Holiday gift ideas? Make it Monkey

posted by David on 11/21/2003 08:11:00 PM | Link |

 

11/20/2003

My Way of Life

Last Night I Didn't Get to Sleep At All. Tossing and turning. Anxious. All part of opening weekend jitters. Typical for me. Of course I won't jinx the show by discussing any details, but needless to say this is not based on anything that has happened this week. Just those whacky inner demons in me. You know... the ones that led me to a life of booze and dope!

I'm tired and don't have much time today Handbaggers but I wanted you all to know I finally got my copy of Dawn, Portrait of a Teenage Runaway starring, Eve 'Jan Brady' Plumb. Since I was already burned once with a crappy Ebay quality tape I shelled out the extra bucks for a copy from an AWESOME SITE. I found and I'm happy to report that I was very pleased. I could only watch the first couple of minutes featuring Eve 'Jan Brady' Plumb in her bathrobe talking to her little brother about finding out who she is. It was so good I had to share with others so I will wait.

Holiday gift ideas? How about wax lips?

Avoir!

David

posted by David on 11/20/2003 10:10:00 PM | Link |

 

11/18/2003

My Way of Life

Greetings Handbaggers and Baggettes. It's a dreary rainy day and to top it off I had to come to work EARLY. Why, you ask? For you. All of the Rudolph the Red-Hosed Reindeer cast and crew are starting the treacherous tech week, and although necessary and worthwhile it can be a tedious and tiresome affair. We have to set sound levels, light cues and blocking in the new space. I have to admit I wish the theater seated more, but we were very lucky to get the space we got, so as Doris Day would say, 'Que sera, sera'!
We got a first look at some of our costumes and let me tell you I can see why Ed Jones went on that dangerous, yet necessary crash diet. Think 'Turn Back Time' Cher...,

It was nice to have the entire cast with us and Jackie, our trusted stage manager certainly knows how to keep them in line. Of course you have the occasional troublemakers and gabbers and whisperers but overall Ms. Anderson managed to run a pretty tight ship. Tim Piotrowski's Christmas trees are to die for and I'm looking forward to seeing the set evolve into a magical winter wonderland, worthy of a Rankin Bass homage.

Have I finished my monologue? Um...I think I hear my mother calling me..

Oooh, before I go, here's todays Holiday gift tip. How about something for the Adult Baby and diaper lover in your family? Beware of the bottom images darlings.

Ciao, darlings.

posted by David on 11/18/2003 04:49:00 PM | Link |

 

11/17/2003

My Way of Life

There's a blanket of fog over Chicago this morning. How appropriate for a Monday. I'm a wee bit tired this morning due to the fact we were on the Windy City Radio last night for Rudolph the Red-Hosed Reindeer. Let the publicity junket begin! There were quite a few of us but we managed to squeeze in and give it our all. The hosts, Jim Bennett and Amy Matheny were very gracious and given that they only have an hour to do the show it was very generous of them to give us the time that they did. They make a cute couple, Amy of course wearing the pants in the family... I LOVE women in control.

Today we start 'loading in' to the Live Bait Theater space and everybody is all aflutter with excitement. So many things happening. Back stage drama? A little... Good manners prevents me from revealing all of those details. Besides, why upset you, my little Handbaggers with matters that would only add stress to your already stressful holiday season?

Holiday gift ideas? How about a LaWanda Page CD?

God Bless-

David

posted by David on 11/17/2003 04:32:00 PM | Link |

 

11/16/2003

My Way of Life

It's Saturday night and am I out at some fancy extravaganza or some gala premiere hobnobbing with celebrities? No. I had a full day of rehearsal and housework to catch up on when I got home. Times are tough. No maid, no nuthin'. Just me a and a mop, and a few jokes and songs tucked away in my little apron of hope.

Chris and I went to see Elf tonight. It was a fun little movie. It reminded me of Legally Blonde in the respect that without Will Farrell, it probably wouldn't have worked as well. He totally carried it even when it got sooooo predictable. It's like the writers stopped half way through the film. The genius that is Amy Sedaris is in it. Totally wasted of course.

The movie was at it's best in the beginning when Will Farrrell's character , 'Buddy' lived at the North Pole. Clever, funny little bits of life at the Pole. Total Rankin Bass sets and costumes. The whole time I was watching it I kept thinking, God, wouldn't that be great to have in Rudolph?

The really weird thing about the film was the casting of James Caan as Buddy's birth father. He looked like he was well in his 60's, and his died hair made him look even older. BAD casting choice. You just got the feeling there was a lot of stuff left on the cutting room floor. Bob Newhart was great as Papa Elf, and Chris laughed so hard I pretended I didn't know him at points...

My rating? 2 1/2 stars. That's 'good'.

Christmas gift ideas? What about a belt buckle made by Tori Spelling?

Designer toilet paper?

Of course if you're looking for holiday ideas for me just go to my Amazon wishlist My e-mail is det442@aol.com

Well, it's getting late, I'm running on fumes and I have plenty of porn view before I retire. Smell you later!

posted by David on 11/16/2003 07:24:00 AM | Link |

 

11/14/2003

My Way of Life

The clock is ticking. 9 days until the official opening and 7 until previews...,

Last night Jane Donner, aka Brigitte Ditmars and I trucked up to Highland Park to record additional Rudolph tracks. We also finally met the elusive Paul Miller, our trumpeteer for Rudolph. Particularly the jazz hot number, "It's Tough to be a Toy". It was thrilling to hear him lay down trumpety things for the song and he was a hell of a nice guy too..

Scott Lamberty, my collaborator is going out of town this weekend so now we wait...,

Things to do? My wig. My costume. Sound cues. Rehearse. Rehearse. Rehearse.

posted by David on 11/14/2003 05:34:00 PM | Link |

 

11/13/2003

My Way of Life

Celebrity spotting! Celebrity spotting! Since Irv Kupcinet has finally croaked I have taken it upon myself to fill the gap by reporting the presence of local boy made good Oscar nominee John C. Reilly at the Theater Building Chicago last night while we rehearsed. Rumor has it he was after Steve Hickson's coveted role as Ruth Claus, but came under the pretense of seeing Heather Woodbury, NPR darling, perform. But we all know better, don't we?

Some really crappy news- There was a fire in the building that our own Score, Keith Survillas, and Ben Calvert from Live Bait Theater live in. Ben's apartment was destroyed and Keith's sustained heavy smoke damage. Appreciate what you have!

All I have to say about last nights run-through is ACTING IS HARD!

You know why? Because you have to totally flush your ego down the toilet and drop any bullshit pretenses, and acknowledge other people. Well let me tell you, for this little insecure, egomaniac,that ain't the easiest thing in the world... Plus, this damn cast and director are so good, they've really raised the bar. Things that were funny 2 years ago just don't cut it baby! Time was when I could just slap on a wig and raise my eyebrow and boom, cut, print, that's a wrap! Now, I have to be in the frigging moment! Damn this growth, stuff!


posted by David on 11/13/2003 05:21:00 PM | Link |

 

11/12/2003

My Way of Life

We recorded late into the night. I have to admit it was a little tedious listening to the same thing over and over and over but once Ed Jones left it was fine. Not everybody could make it so many people had to pull double duty but they did it like the troopers they are! There are still so many things to do. No, I have not finished my monologue for Fa-La-La This 2 , and given my track record for memorization I should have done this weeks ago.

I had mentioned in a previous Blog that a group of us had gone to see Charles Busch's Die Mommie. Die! Well, Steve 'Ruth Claus' Hickson sent Mr. Busch a note via his website and Mr. Busch, in true Joan Crawford style actually replied.

Dear Steve,
I'm so glad you liked the movie. That awful sign about the court order was
the result of an ugly lawsuit where someone claimed that I stole the idea of
the
movie from a play they wrote thirteen years ago. Yesterday, an LA judge
tossed the whole thing out of court and said that there was absolutely no
similarity between the two works. It caused me a lot of trouble and
heartache but thank
God it's all over and those terrible signs have been torn down. Word of
advice, don't accept unsolicited manuscripts and keep a paper trail.

Once again, thank you for your lovely words about the movie.
And good luck with your theatre company.
Charles Busch


The awful sign Charles is referring to was a lawsuit by somebody who claimed that Mr. Busch ripped him off. There was a vaudeville style sign on a tripod in the lobby announcing the name of the so called author in the lobby. We thought it was a joke until a little internet research proved otherwise. Happily the matter seems resolved but of course, the press doesn't report that.

My rigorous rehearsal schedule and behind the scenes demands for Rudolph have taken their toll on my health and beauty regime. I simply don't have the time to hit the gym and pamper myself as much as I would like to, but no matter how hard I try I still can't look older then Ed Jones, who plays my son in Rudolph, the Red-Hosed Reindeer! How embarrassing!





posted by David on 11/12/2003 05:18:00 PM | Link |

 

11/11/2003

My Way of Life

The new postcards are here! The new postcards are here! Last night felt like the scene from Mommie Dearest where Joan oversees her fans as they sign and address her fan mail. Only I wasn't Joan, I was one of the fans. Yes, I too, rolled up my sleeves and peeled, and stuck, and stamped postcards, because I know you, our fans, know the difference!

Once again, ensemble member Mike Miller did a fabulous job with the Rudolph posters and postcards. You should be receiving yours any day now. Gives you something to look forward to!

I have a million things to do, and tonight we're recording at Theater Building Chicago thanks to the lovely Lorraine Townsend, so I probably shouldn't be blogging much more today. Toodles!

posted by David on 11/11/2003 06:38:00 PM | Link |

 

11/10/2003

My Way of Life

Did you miss me? I certainly missed you. Please forgive my extended absence as I had intended to give you full report after my Rudolph production meeting, but I fell ill upon returning home. Pounding sinus headache, violent regurgitation , and I didn't even sit next to Steve Hickson during the meeting! Needless to say my Sunday afternoon and evening plans were shot. Much like the food I had ingested that morning. After some moaning and rest I was better by about 7pm. Just in time to eat a bowl of soup and watch The Simpsons! It was the season premiere and Glenn Close made a guest appearance as Homer's mother, the on the run radical hippie. It was okay, but not there most clever. It was followed by a rerun which, fortunately shows The Simpson still have 'the stuff'. Homer separates from Marge and lives with two gay guys, one of them voiced by Kids in the Hall homo Scott Thompson, and it was funny and clever from start to finish.

Since time doesn't stand still when I'm not feeling well I had to drag my ass to the computer and write some Rudolph changes requested by Mr. Gunnels, and I also caught up on the ridiculousness known as my DHBIS (Debbie Harry Blondie Information Society) chat group. I mean- I'm a Blondie/Debbie fan, but I pale in comparison to others. Being obsessed about obsession I find this both fascinating and sometimes repulsive. The DHBIS group is filled with wannabee rock and roll journalists offering inane insight on topics like Ms. Harry's ever changing weight to 'Why does Debbie have to smoke so much in her films' and the ever popular and undying Debbie vs. Madonna thread that rears it's ugly head from time to time. My Ann-Margret group by comparison is filled with friendly folk who are just ga-ga about anything A-M does. There are people on that list that went to the preview of movies like Viva Las Vegas and Bye Bye Birdie. Lot's of older grandmother types, teenage girls, Vietnam vets, Elvis lovers and loads of gay men. If only the world could get along as well as my Ann-Margret chat group then maybe there'd be less strife and injustice!

I'm only half kidding.

Later that evening I watch Sound Opinions. This is basically a musical version of Siskel and Ebert's WTTW show from way back when which started the entire 'thumbs up' review system. Except Siskel and Ebert were HOT compared to these two. It's hosted by Greg Kot of the Chicago Tribune who looks like that tall dork from the Drew Cary show and Jim DeRogatis who sort of looks like a combination of the Comic Book guy and Roger Ebert. This is just ripe for for an SNL parody. Allow me to take on the role of Elfano, the super superficial elf from Rudolph, the Red-Hosed Reindeer, and tell you all you have to do is look at these two and you would probably dismiss anything they had to say. They should change the set to a school cafeteria lunchroom and have them sitting way in the corner with Anthony Michael Hall and John Cusack as portrayed in Sixteen Candles. Who would want to listen to anything they had to say about anything????

You expect them to start giving each other 'noogies' any minute. Or, what if they just one day started passionately making out during one of their disagreements. I always though Siskel and Ebert might have done that. Just to 'get it out of the way', and never mention it again. There has to be a fetish market out there for geek sex. Hmmmmm....

Okay, gotta go!

posted by David on 11/10/2003 05:40:00 PM | Link |

 

11/07/2003

My Way of Life

When I was a child in kindergarten I had two major hurdles. Learning left from right, and learning to skip. I wish I were kidding. So imagine, the horror of having to get me to say a line, turn my head to the right, laugh, nod, and step forward all in order. You'd have a better chance of spotting Bigfoot . Despite my shortcomings I am perservering and keeping my eye on the prize because I know YOU, our fans expect no less! And why should you?

Tonight is the premiere of A Reasonable Facsimile's production of Off Stage. Why am I plugging them? Well, dear reader, these are not just ordinary mortals. The company was founded by Handbag ensemble members Tina Haglund and Michael Buino, two wayward Rudolph alumnae. I like them so much that I dressed like Eydie Gorme in a cramped basement in the middle of Hetero-ville for them. How I suffer for my art!

I'm putting on my best Joan Pepsi board meeting suit and negotiating CD reproduction prices for the Rudolph, the Red-Hosed Reindeer cast recording CD. So many foreign terms, so many options. Do we want 2 colors? 4 colors? Slimline? Standard? Who knew the many worlds that Handbag Productions would take me into? Spokesperson, actress, writer, lyricist, wife and now businesswoman. You would be surprised how the simple arch of a well plucked eyebrow can convey so much more then some bean counter can with numbers and figures. I've got a figure they can't argue with!

posted by David on 11/07/2003 04:43:00 PM | Link |

 

Adbuster Update!

Right now the ad is for "Repertorio Español. El lider del teatro en español NYC."

That's what you get for saying "Hola Amigos," David. IT'S READING WHAT YOU WRITE.

Whee!

posted by Anonymous on 11/07/2003 05:09:00 AM | Link |

 

11/06/2003

My Way of Life

Hola Amigos! That's 'Hello Friends' in Spanish, the language of my people. Not a lot to report. Rehearsal went very well yesterday and I've got to tell you. These people are pretty damn funny. Lil' Matty Gunnels is just full of ideas as is Kristen Folzenlogen. I don't have to tell them a damn thing. They just know. It's refreshing because I can just concentrate on my craft. Watching Brannen Daugherty and Dan Hickey work together is a treat. They have chemistry , and Lori Lee is insane (I'm not kidding). Maybe I'm an egomaniac , (shutup), but I think this is going to win many Tonys.

So, did I mention the legendary star of Stage, Screen and Song Miss Ann-Margret is on television lately? YES! You can catch A-M on Third Watch on Fridays. She plays a tough as nails judge with a lot of people that don't like her. It's just great to see her in the public eye, and those of you who know me KNOW that Miss Ann-Margret is just, well, one of my favorite human beings of all time, for so many complicated reasons, which you couldn't possibly understand.

Did I ever tell you about the time I met her? I did. I talked to her about as much as I could for 10 minutes. I forgot to tell her I can re-enact all of her scenes from Tommy and one of my secret fantasies is to recreate the Tommy film frame by frame like Gus Van Sant did with Psycho, but have ME play all of the parts. I haven't shared that one with my Ann-Margret chat group, but I share it with you lovely Handbaggers because I feel we have a special bond.



posted by David on 11/06/2003 07:01:00 PM | Link |

 

Adbusters

So okay, the Blog*Spot banner ad above is ugly... but it's extremely funny to watch it try to figure out which products to advertise to us. It changes all the time, so it may have already changed by the time that you're reading this. But yesterday, it was an ad for wholesale handbags from China and today it's for a Claudette Colbert DVD. How intelligent is this thing, I wonder? How long before it starts recommending used book websites carrying remaindered copies of My Way Of Life by Joan Crawford? Dibs on this as my Handblog beat... stay tuned for further reports...

posted by Anonymous on 11/06/2003 04:13:00 PM | Link |

 

11/05/2003

My Way of Life

No rehearsal last night, but did I stay on the couch all night and watch 24? No! I most certainly did not. After work I went to the Office Depot and purchased more CD mailers because the cast recordings to POSEIDON! are still selling. At least twice a week some lonely Poseidon Adventure geek Googles Poseidon Adventure for the Umpteenth Million time in his life and comes across our website. Can you imagine the joy we're bringing to these lonely little buggers lives?

I also was thrilled to find a CD with most of the Rudolph sound cues in a box full of crap on my back porch. Oh joy! Oh, rapture! This will make life much easier for our fabulous stage manager, Miss Jackie Anderson. It took hours to compile the new rehearsal CD so inbetween this tedious process I was able to catch the death episode of 8 Simple Rules on ABC. I was curious to see how they would deal with the death of John Ritter. I hated 3's Company, even when it was a hit, but for some odd reason I still felt soooo sad when he died. He seemed like a nice enough fellow, and he was on TELEVISION. Television was my GOD . My friend, when I had no friends. My family, when I had none. Elizabeth Montgomery was my confidante. Carol Burnett, my mentor. So, although I didn't really like John's show, I accept that John is part of the family, and I mourn his loss. So, how was the show? Well, it started out with the actresses playing his teenage daughters dressed like hookers talking about being hot and when they found out their father died they wore looser clothing and didn't wear as much makeup. I suppose once they adjust they'll look like whores again. Suzanne Pleshette and James Garner (TV family royalty) were on board as the bickering divorced parents of Katy Sagal. Ms. Pleshette was wasted and Mr. Garner did his usual outstanding job playing the family anchor. Yeah, boring, but what could they do? Have Janet and Chrissy show up at the door maybe? Don't worry, I predict they'll end up on that show as the ratings slip.

I remember Andy Warhol asking Mary Tyler Moore why she couldn't just keep playing Mary Richards and although it may seem like a silly question, I understand where he's coming from. Why can't we just force people to play the same characters that we fell in love with? Does anybody really watch Ted Danson as Becker?

posted by David on 11/05/2003 05:47:00 PM | Link |

 

11/04/2003

My Way of Life

Greetings Handbaggers. I hope today finds you well and happy. Me? Oh, I'm fine I suppose. Rehearsal was our first off book affair and as hard as I tried I had a bit of trouble remembering the order of the words I was to say. The director , who obviously doesn't understand the demands of my daily life (and really, how could he?), pointed this out during 'notes'. Since I conduct myself in professional manner I said nothing. I mean, of course I could have mentioned that this was the first time we had really ever actually rehearsed the scene, but did I? No! I displayed remarkable restraint and grace, remembering that even no matter how wrong or unfair he may appear to be he is the director, and I must submit to his bidding.

On to brighter pastures! I heard from little Tracy Repep a couple of days ago. You may remember Tracy as Joan Crawford in Joan Crawford Goes to Hell or perhaps you know her as Cherry Calico in Queen of the Roundup. I know her as 'kiddo'. She came to us a fresh faced kid from Pennsylvania, and left us a woman on a path to love and fortune in Seattle. His name is Tim , and despite all of my warnings, he's an actor, and apparently a damn good one. I can only hope she remembers everything we taught her about being a lady and learning when to say 'more'.

This past Sunday we saw Die, Mommie, Die! with Christopher, Steve Hickson, and Ed Jones . Fun, frothy. Great costumes. Great dialogue. This translates to screen better then Psycho Beach Party did and the confrontation scene with Frances Conroy as the maid is worth the price of admission.

posted by David on 11/04/2003 04:12:00 PM | Link |

 

11/03/2003

My Way of Life

It's a dreary rainy day here in Chicagoland and let me tell you it wasn't easy getting out my warm, sensual bed. If it were up to me I'd lay there all day. Just ask Chris...

Well, there's not a lot to report. BC Kalz flew to NYC to see the special previews of Taboo. You may remember BC as Jayne Mansfield, in 'Touched by Jayne Mansfield', or as the 50 Foot Sharon Tate in 'Jacqueline Susann's Valley of the Dolls'. BC's review- "It was good". BC, or "brian", as I like to call him as been a Boy George fan forever. Boy George is to him is as Debbie Harry is to me. Speaking of Debbie Harry, you can catch her in a new indie, My Life Without Me. She, and the movie are getting decent reviews. She plays a jaded, burnt out mom that smokes a lot.

Speaking of Debbie again, did you know you can buy the new Blondie album? Today's kids call them 'CD's' . Yes! You can! The Curse of Blondie is available as an import for a reasonable price and it is well worth the money. A solid effort that requires multiple listening to achieve full effect. Lyrically, it's one of Blondie's best, and it blows their current crop of imitators out of the water. It's too bad their record label isn't as enthusiastic about it as I am. If you order it through the official Blondie website, my friend, Louis Buscamente gets money to help keep the site in tip top shape.

I keep getting this image of Liza Minelli turning into a mutant Rosie O'Donnell type of rage machine after guzzling a bottle of vodka. Sort of like the Incredible Hulk. I've been thinking about this ever since I read about that ridiculous David Gest lawsuit. Derek Chalupa (I can't remember how to spell is real last name), one of our ensemble members thinks this would be a good starring vehicle for him. Doesn't Mr. Gest get it? Nobody will ever stop loving Liza. EVER!!!!! I read he asked Ruth Warrick to marry him and she turned him down on the advice of her astrologer. Can you imagine? Besides the disgusting images this brings to my diseased brain, just knowing you were going out with somebody that used to have the hots for Ruth Warrick??? I 'm just imagining him trying to pass as straight in the locker room, talking about hot babes.

Bill: Yeah, that Carmen Electra's got tits out to there!
Jack: Give me that sweet Jennifer Lopez ass any day!
David Gest: (While scratching his groin area) Fuck man, did you see Lee Meriweather's new hairstyle? Isn't it flattering?



posted by David on 11/03/2003 05:44:00 PM | Link |

 

This Is Only A Test

Feeling crazy? Take the inkblot test and find out!

You can post your results in the comments, and then we can compare results & slo-o-owly back away from each other...

posted by Anonymous on 11/03/2003 05:19:00 PM | Link |

 

11/01/2003

My Way of Life

Well, it's the day after Halloween and I have some to kill before I remember what I'm supposed to do today. I have this planner that reminds me what I'm supposed to be doing but since most of it is creative crap, it's difficult for me to just say, 'Okay, it's 10:30, time to write the second act of Baby Jane'.'

I packed my gym bag, because my fans expect me to be top shape for Rudolph. Did I mention I'm also supposed to be writing something for Fa-La-La This 2 ?

Ron Kelly is in charge of putting that little affair together and since I didn't participate last year I thought I would this year. But does the world need to hear yet another tale of Holiday woe and dysfunction? I'm always second guessing myself, and I guess that isn't a good thing. So, I'm trying to figure out what to do, and I also have to memorize my lines from Rudolph. It's usually not a good thing when the playwright doesn't know the lines or the director has to tell him how they should be read. Sometimes I just forget. I don't think it's an age thing, since I'm quite young . I just have so many things to think about, and the voices in my head don't help either. You know, the ones that tell you that you don't necessarily need to floss before bedtime or that you needn't worry about the Iraqi conflict because they're going to kill each other no matter what you do. It's the voice of indifference, mind for some reason, it's gotten a rather large sublet in my brain. Shaking my head vigorously only makes me MORE forgetful.

Dr. Sex, the delightfully clever musical comedy at Bailiwick is extending until 11/15/03 and I highly recommend it. Besides, the dead on lyrics and amazing songs, the cast is pretty fantabulous. I have to admit I'm a little partial to couple of them. Josh Campbell, my little Robin from POSEIDON! An Upside Down Musical, and the scintillating Molly Faithe, our NYC Linda Rogo, who was a goddam trouper!!!

God, this is turning into one of those theater newsletter things. I'd better go and get buffed for you. Later.

posted by David on 11/01/2003 08:05:00 PM | Link |

 

Home | Blog | Company | Contact | History | Support

©2004 Hell In A Handbag Productions
v: (312) 409-4357   e:info@handbagproductions.org

Website credits
Web Design & Construction by
Richard Lambert and Pauline Pang
Red 'H' by Troy Coleman
Additional art elements by Michael Miller