and also in Los Angeles...
and also in Baltimore...
Blogs We Love
A Hole In The Head
People We Love
The Official Carol Lynley Home Page
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
And also...David interviews Margaret Cho
read the handblog...
My Way of LifeTuesday we had our very first SCARRIE-The Musical production meeting, and it was very exciting to see what the various designers had in mind. The set will be minimalistic but effective and the special effects will kick ass! Talk about your preparation! The set designer had a sketch pad full of ideas based on his tour of the space and talking with Margot. The dashing Nick Sandys (he makes me rather weak in the knees) was full of ghastly death scenarios and we may even find a way for Miss Collins to die the horrific death she does in the film. Our choreographer, Bobbie Bagby, currently in the hit show Hello Again was there and I met our Music Director Jon Mercado, who wasn't born when the original Carrie was released. In certain southern states, I could probably be his grandfather. Taylor Ross was on hand as were our Special Events Coordinator, whose name I forgot..., Margot (our director), and lighting genius Doug MacDonald were there as well. Margot actually had screen shots of the film to give Doug, to discuss specific lighting. Damn...,
Poor little John Buranosky, our props designer couldn't make it because he had an emergency appendectomy!
I am excited even though everything isn't as picture perfect as it could be in Handbag land, but what is art without strife?
THE BAD SEED- Is doing wonderfully. We open Wednesday, May 4 (I think the official website currently says May 5, ignore it, it's the 4th).
The show is funny, and I'm ain't lying. The songs are clever and infectious, like rabies and there are some wonderful performances in it. If you've never experienced Todd Schaner and Robert Bowman as Tiff and Mom, then you're missing a rare treat. They've created these mother/daughter characters about 500 years ago and have nurtured them into cult figures they are today. Their timing as well their performances are dead on hilarious.
Since this is an adaptation of 'The Bad Seed' you also get the treat of seeing them perform the delicate balancing of Tiff and Mom performing as Rhoda and Christine Penmark. Fans of the movie will not be disappointed as they deliver the goods when parodying these characters. There are even some touching, heartfelt moments. I'm thoroughly enjoying playing Miss Fern, the imperious spinster school teacher who knows, but refuses to acknowledge what happened on the pier during the Fern School All Grade Annual Picnic (which by, the way, is a song).
What are you waiting for, tickets are cheap! 6 bucks on Wednesday and 12 on thursday and Friday. If you can get a group of six to go on Friday you only pay 6 bucks but you have to call for reservations.
posted by David on 4/29/2005 04:35:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeFile under I told you so..., New York Times critic Ben Brantley must read my Blog. I do wish he had asked permission before using my description of John C. Reilly as Stanley K.
posted by David on 4/27/2005 03:35:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeIKEA is Swedish for HELL
I suppose you have to be in a certain mood for IKEA. You have to be in a faggy state of mind to schlep all the way up Schaumburg and throw yourself into the pit of humanity known as IKEA.
BC Kalz, mentioned he need to go to IKEA and return a few things and buy a couple of items, and since it was his birthday and I was feeling generous I volunteered to take him. After a couple of wrong turns we managed to get there and of course the place was teeming with every kind of person imaginable. Trashy suburbanites in stirrup pants (they're never going to give that look up, are they?) and Winnie the Pooh or Warner Brothers cartoon logo jackets ( I HATE those) , yuppies with their ADORABLE children. All sorts of variations on GAY and the most curious type of people that regard going to IKEA as a sort of fashion show, wearing clothes and hair that look like it took them a couple of hours to get ready to shop for a $9 lamp. 'Cutting edge' vintaged patterned coats and spiked hair. You know the drill.
I realized once I got there I just wasn't in the frame of mind to deal with these people. The ones that stop or stand in the middle of an aisle for no apparent reason as if they were the only people in the store. What this made this worse that I soon became aware that most of the people doing this were of Asian descent so my sick little Northwest Indiana mind started to connect this to the ignorant racial stereotypes associated with Asians on the rode. This coming from a gay Mexican/Italian/Irish bastard child.
Me: Don't these people have any sense of the world around them?
Brian: (Giving me the 'mom' look') Oh, David....,
I also came to realization just how GAY my friend Brian (BC Kalz) is. He went to return a couple of items and get a couple of items, but every time he passed by something shiny or pink or orange he HAD to stop and look at it.
BC: Isn't this neat? I wonder if I should buy it? It's only 12 dollars!
Me: I don't know, Brian, do you really need a hot pink sausage casing stuffer ?
This went on for almost three hours and until I had to say- 'We have to leave now'
Of course we took the wrong exit initially but soon found our way on I-90. To keep up with the maniac drivers I was going 80 mph, and then my check engine light went on. Fuck it. I just drove home.
Did I mentioned I had run low on happy pills and gone without for a couple of days, so this is a lesson. Never go to IKEA unless fully medicated.
posted by David on 4/26/2005 08:09:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeHope your weekend was, as the kids like say, 'Bootylicious'..., Friday night I saw 'Take Me Out' an About Face production at Steppenwolf. It was an entertaining, clever if not at points overwritten to the point that the some of the actors had trouble grasping the language, but they gave it their all and when I say all, I mean ALL. Many of you know that this play features extensive Full Monty shower scenes and it was interesting to see who chose to fluff and who didn't. It was doubly satisfactory to have my fluffing suspicions confirmed by reliable sources after the show. Hell, I'd be smacking it around like Christina Crawford if it were me up there. Particularly entertaining were Tom Aulino and Red Orchid's Danny McCarthy. I also met with the Managing Director of About Face the charming Gregory Copeland who I convinced to guest chaperone SCARRIE-The Musical by batting my eyelashes and mentioning Margot Bordelon's name. Afterwards I went out with the kids and listened to Franz Ferdinand and talked about the latest dance crazes and such.
posted by David on 4/25/2005 06:39:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeJoan gave you so much of herself. The least you could do is put flowers on her grave.
posted by David on 4/22/2005 05:02:00 PM | Link |
My Way of Life- HOORAY, Part 2The Jeff Award nominations came out and besides Ms. Ditmars other ensemble members in shows receiving recognition through their involvement in nominated productions include (drumroll) Clarissa Gregg (Edwin Drood) , Brannen Daugherty, Brooke Allen and Steve Kimbrow (Parade) and even lil' Derek Czaplewski (Merrily We Roll Along). Kudos also to Handbag friends Peter Storms (Edwin Drood), David Zak (Parade) Nicky Foster (Parade) and Nathan Allen (Curse of the Crying Heart and Rocketman). By the way, the Joey Steakley, the actor cast as as Carrie White in SCARRIE, was in Rocketman, so it's just a big unending circle of love here.
It would be nice if perhaps the Jeff Award committee would deem us eligible with SCARRIE-The Musical. Not that awards matter or anything. I'm just thinking of the kids...,
I take it best reindeer drag performance wasn't a category this year.
posted by David on 4/21/2005 07:34:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeSo, my friend Jessica, possibly one the most gorgeous and stylish dykes in Chicago has made the WLUP Loop Rock Girl Finalists. You can only vote THURSDAY APRIL 21 from 10:00-10:30 AM (CST). You totally need to vote for her as the rest of the competition our big breasted
faux rock bimbos.
You can vote by calling 312.591.ROCK or 312.591.ROLL or go to the website at www.wlup.com but be warned, you have to sign up to be a "Loyal Looper" first.THEN: If she wins the 10-10:30 match, and then, in her own words, "I go up against another ho at 6:00 PM (CST). You gotta do the same voting b.s. all over again."
posted by David on 4/21/2005 03:34:00 PM | Link |
My Way of Life- HOORAYCongratulations are in order for our very own Handbag ensemble member
Brigitte Ditmars for her second Jeff Nomination (she won the first time) for best choreography in CAMP NIMROD. The woman made horses dance for Christ's sake!
posted by David on 4/20/2005 06:40:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeSingle White Female seeking Christ-like Single White Male. Interests include picketing the local women's clinic and watching Highway to Heaven reruns on TVLand while sitting on the same sofa with a respectable amount of distance between us (4 regulation size bibles).
posted by David on 4/20/2005 05:02:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeMy friend Greg is selling is beloved Midge. Buy it!
posted by David on 4/20/2005 04:07:00 PM | Link |
My Way of Life- There's Evil in the Air...,
Rose McGowan as my beloved Ann-Margret? Another sign of the apocalypse?
posted by David on 4/20/2005 05:43:00 AM | Link |
My Way of Life- CHEERS!
From Cliff Claven, TV mailman, to Pope Benedict John Ratzenberger is named the new Pope.
posted by David on 4/20/2005 05:42:00 AM | Link |
My Way of LifeWould you rather tell people you met your current squeeze at a sex party or here? I'd opt for the first.
posted by David on 4/19/2005 08:15:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeI hope you all enjoyed what looks like to be the start of some decent weather in Chicago. We started our weekend bright and early Saturday morning with... A NEW CAR. Yes, the poor Honda CRV did not survive the accident. She had over 100,000 miles on her and the verdict was to take out the feeding tube. Chris was upset simply because he didn't want to make another car payment but thanks to the insurance settlement the payment isn't as painful as it could have been and now we have a shiny new silver Toyota Highlander in the family. My liberal guilt kicks in when I'm riding in it but that will diminish soon enough when I have to haul Hell in a Handbag crap from one place to another.
Sunday I FINALLY put the Rudolph costumes in storage. You would not believe the maze that is the storage space. A perfect location for a horror film. I immediately imagined myself being chased through the twisty narrow corridors, occasionally stumbling and feeling the breeze of the axe swipe on the back of my head. But Steve Hickson wasn't there...,
SCARRIE-The Musical update. We have a set designer! He even has his own studio to build sets! We have a choreographer! We still need a Music Director!
Taylor Ross has finally come out of his funk and delivered a wonderful version of the second act opening song 'Things Are Gonna Be Different'- I guess the 10th time was the charm. He followed this by delivering a seamless new version of the song that closes Act One- 'You're Not that Ugly' sung by Miss Collins a la' Deborah Harry, 77-79.
Friday evening I put the finishing touches on the script to be sent to the cast per Margot's suggestions, and I later went through the 'Why would he say this and then later do that?' thing always I do. This of course can be fixed in rehearsals, but it always happens after I hit send.
posted by David on 4/18/2005 04:18:00 PM | Link |
My New York of Life-Finale
So Act Two of the 20th anniversary of Vampire Lesbians of Sodom was the play, Vampire Lesbians of Sodom, starring Charles Busch and Julie Halston recreating the roles they originally created with a shitload of guest stars. I had NEVER seen this play before despite the millions of runs it's had in Chicago so it was an extra special treat. Guest stars? Matthew Cusick, Lawrence M. Bullock, Phyllis Newman (remember her?), Andy Halliday, Arnie Kolodner, Ruth Williamson (who Jere said was me if I was a woman), Jason Patrick Sands, Mario Cantone, Sutton Foster (looking as think as a twig), Bruce -insert bad joke here-Vilanch, and others. FUNNY, FUNNY stuff. Surprisingly short. Over. Standing ovations.
Now for the private post-party meant for cast members, crew and people who had bought the 1000.00 tickets. Charles said I could go but I forgot to ask him where it was. Finding out was easy enough and after waiting for big Gay Jim Glaub we were on our way to BOND 45. I was afraid we would be questioned at the door and Charles had forgotten to put us on the list, but a very well dressed beautiful older woman just took my word for it and let us in, I KNEW wearing that Linda Rogo pink ruffled tuxedo shirt made me look like a 'somebody'. Due the humidity and rain my hair was rather untamed, so maybe she thought I was David Copperfield or something.
The party was filled with cameras and people who were both fun and real and creepy and plastic show-bizzy types. The Spamalot boys were there with Tim Curry manning the helm and this seemed to be the table everybody sooner or later casually stood near. I couldn't do it, but after seeing someone fawn over my Mr. Curry for like the 100th time I looked him, he looked at me and gave him a wink. When I talk to him I want it to be special. Ryan and Jim were so fun to be with and I was happy they were there. We walked around and they pointed out who was who. I spoke with Charles, his director Carl Andress who did Bitches here in Chicago in '93, chatted with the man who Cirque Du Soleil fired because of his HIV + status, Matthew Cusick who was incredibly silly and like pulling his shirt up. Shit, with that body I'd be pulling my shirt up too. At one point in the evening Ryan was chatting with an elderly man and introduced him to me. 'David this Thomas'. HI! The man walks away- 'Who is he?" I ask. Thomas Meehan, the guy who wrote the music for Annie and The Producers. 'Oh...' So , yes, it was quite a night for me. Made me want to NYC. It's just happening there you know? You're never at a loss for finding all sorts of talent and all sorts of people wanting to create something BIG. Sometimes I feel like people here (Chicago) settle for medium.
posted by David on 4/17/2005 05:27:00 AM | Link |
Thanks to Pam Dierking for the link. Michael Miller reminded me that besides being known as Mary Hartman's sister and Hotsie Totsie in 'Welcome Back Kotter' NBC shot special added footage with Debralee Scott to turn Earthquake into a two day EVENT . Debralee and her new husband were just about to land in LA when the deadly Sensurround earthquake hit!
posted by David on 4/16/2005 04:55:00 AM | Link |
My Dead Way of Life
R.I.P Hotsie Totsie
posted by David on 4/16/2005 04:47:00 AM | Link |
My Way of Life
So do you think these reproductions will be hot souvenir items with the American tourists in Mexico? "Oh honey, let's put that one in the hallway right next to that Frida lady with the moustache...,"
Colombian painter Fernando Botero displays some of his new paintings depicting the horrors of U.S. guards' abuse of captives at Iraq's Abu Graib prison, Monday April 11, 2005 in Paris, France. Botero says he became so upset that he felt compelled to produce works showing his trademark chubby characters naked and being blooded by Americans. (AP Photo/Francois Mori)
posted by David on 4/16/2005 04:41:00 AM | Link |
My Way of LifeI've been on hold for ten minutes now with my doctors office. I'm beat. We went through the painstaking process of going through the 117th revision of the opening number for 'The Bad Seed', and I think this is the final one but can you believe those sons of bitches expect a person to sing and dance at the same time? Jesus! This number has the whole shebang- lifting, fans, JAZZ HANDS. The only problem I have is too much of this down on your knees shit. Now, ahem...in my younger days my knees were sturdy and strong and I could drop to them at a moments notice but now it's sort of a creaking multi-stage task to lower myself to the floor, and getting up requires a bit of grunting and wincing. Combined with a skirt and heels it's double torture.
After rehearsing the opening number I had to sit in on the Mrs. Daigle rant scene, because I am Miss Fern and needed to be there. In a perfect world I would have a powerful singing voice and it would be me up there as Hortense Daigle but, I'm quite happy with the hand I've been dealt and I've grown quite attached to Miss Fern, or 'Fernie' as Christine Mom as Penmark calls her.
You would think my day was over at 10pm, right? WRONG. I then went to Taylor's house and worked on music for two hours. Taylor Ross- when he's right, he's right as rain, but when something stumps him..., There are NINE versions of the 2nd Act opening number. NINE. How could you not love somebody that works that hard for you? But, NINE versions? So, I listened to them all and pick and chose parts that I liked. He also surprised me (he likes doing that) with a very Blondie version of Miss Collins/Carrie White song, 'You're Not That Ugly', which I liked very much, so I had to re-sing more suitable vocals.
I snuck into the doorway at midnight and Christopher was out like a light. He didn't yell at me to come to bed when I quietly made a sandwich or checked to see if there was any news from anybody online. This had been going on for about 3 weeks now and I've lost ten pounds. I can't afford to lose ten pounds.
posted by David on 4/13/2005 03:50:00 PM | Link |
My New York Way of LifeNeed a singer for that special event in your life? Make it extra special with Yolanda...,
posted by David on 4/12/2005 06:16:00 PM | Link |
My New York Way of Life #6Monday- The reason I originally planned to come to NYC. To see the 20th anniversary of Vampire Lesbians of Sodom with Charles Busch and Julie Halston for one night only!
My date, the attractive slim-hipped Ryan H. Mackey met me at the Music Box Theater where 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' is currently playing and the sidewalk was packed with enough homos to form our own country. Stars galore milled about. Myself, of course but I also spied Susan Stroman, Lynn Redgrave and 100's of 40 something men with enough botox in them to paralyze Canada. There were also so many people that theater queens would go giddy over but I really had no idea who they were until Ryan pointed them out to me. More about that later.
The show started promptly at 8pm and Lynn Redgrave gave an impromptu introduction and was hilarious, particularly as she read the name of one of the sponsors of the event, Volvic water. You just had to be there.
The show was a delight. The first half was part music, part sketch comedy in the tradition of The Carol Burnett Show. Julie and Charles had an opening number recalling the their humble beginnings at the the Theater Limbo, which was basically a seedy NYC nightclub, and you could really see they were enjoying the hell out of themselves. The house obviously enjoyed them too as it was raining outside but sold out nonetheless. People loved them. They closed the first act with a a sort of Carol Burnett meets Here's Lucy type of sketch. Brent Barrett and Rebecca Luker came out and started to sing a series of Jeanette McDonald/ Nelson Eddy songs when Charles came out all 'go-go' mod, boots, silver mini-dress and a FABULOUS 60's hairdo created by Kathy Banks, interrupts the medley a la' Lucy Ball saying he thought they were going to sing 'Downtown'. They go into a delirious 'Downtown/When I'm Calling You' piece when out comes Julie Halston in a cowgirl outfit thinking they were going to sing 'Crazy'. So you know what happens next...They perform this hilarious 'When I'm Calling You/Downtown/Crazy' mishmash musical number, and they had the audience in stitches. End of Act One.
posted by David on 4/11/2005 04:23:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeIt's late and I realized I haven't posted in a day (or two?). I will continue my NYC adventure but not tonight. I just came home from Derek Czaplewski's annual birthday bash and it was fun. Lot of theater really cute theater geeks. I believe I was the oldest person there. All right, I know for a fact I had to have been. I had a talk about Irwin Allen films with somebody that could have been me 20 years ago which was kind of neat and weird at the same time. Yesterday I saw In Trousers directed by Rudolph's Matt Gunnels and choreographed by Brigitte Ditmars. That's Jeff Award winning Brigitte Ditmars. Matt is a big William Finn fan. In Trousers is the only work I've seen of Mr. Finn's, (No, I haven't seen Falsettos) and I enjoyed the show simply because of the sheer joy and energy the creative team and actors put into it. You couldn't help but be won over by the cast because they sang their hearts out, even when it started to get whiny and repetitive, you couldn't help but like it. Matt did a damn fine job. We all know where gets that from...,
I had a 'The Bad Seed' rehearsal and today was my first day off book, and I didn't suck. Granted I'm only in a couple of scenes but I'm really enjoying the part of Miss Fern and this show is truly funny with some great songs. It's nice not playing the grand diva. I'm looking forward to my form fitting Miss Fern dress and totally Miss Fern hat that Tina Haglund is sure to provide with her dead on costuming choices. The show opens May 4 and is very affordable.
posted by David on 4/10/2005 07:12:00 AM | Link |
My AMERICAN Way of LifeIf a rainbow could cry it would look like this. Thanks, Merrie Greenfield for making my jaw drop to the floor. I thought this was a Trey Parker and Matt Stone creation.
posted by David on 4/08/2005 12:06:00 AM | Link |
My New York Way of Life #5Could I drop by Charles Busch's pad to chat for a bit? You bet your sweet ass I could! First I had pizza and refreshments with the NYC SCARRIE read-through actors which included Sheldon Glickstein himself Mr. Jere Williams. Jere graciously volunteered to read stage direction and the role of Scooter. Jere is currently in a production of My Favorite Year at some theater, and it was delightful to see him again. I am so grateful to Jim Glaub and Ryan Mackey for arranging my first NYC read through.
After I said my goodbyes I jumped into a cab and rushed to the apartment of Mr. Busch. Yes, I was excited. I originally met Charles at the Bailiwick Trailblazer Awards where he received a Lifetime Achievement Award. David Zak asked myself and Steve Hickson to dress as Bette and Joan for the event and when I met Charles he immediately knew what Joan era I was going for as his first words to me were 'I Saw What You Did'. It was love at first sight. Besides the fact he is everything I hope to achieve in theater we just got along very well, which is what really matters. Mr. Busch has serves some pretty hot dish, and is not 'affected' in the least.
The cab pulled up to his building and I blew my nose, applied my Carmex and fixed my hair and entered the building. "There's a 'David' here to see you" said the doorman. After a brief listen I was allowed to go enter the Busch realm. I nervously knocked on the door and Charles answered wearing a floral housecoat and, scuffs and paisley kerchief on his head. Okay, I made that part up. He was wearing jeans, a t-shirt and socks. "David, so good to see you! Come in! "This was the first time Charles had met me out of drag so of course we made a little joke about that. As he hung up my coat my eyes devoured all of the sumptuous antiques and memorabilia he had hanging on his Chinese red walls. Truly a charming European style type luxurious yet comfortable atmosphere. I met Kathy Carr, the website designer of Mr. Busch's site and the most fabulous wig-stylist ever. They were getting the wigs ready for the big benefit, and Kathy was just about to go upstairs to the apartment above that Charles owned.
Then it was just me and Charles..., we talked about everything from theater growing pains to Faye Dunaway in 'The Starlet'. He had 'The Greatest Story Ever Told' on and we laughed about Mary Magdalene with her ratted hair and liquid eyeliner and all of the cameos - Sal Mineo, Shelley Winters, John Wayne. We talked and talked and talked.
First a NYC reading of my play, now this. I was feeling pretty fucking grateful at this moment. Most of you don't know this but I'm a little older then I appear to be and I kind of got a late start in life due to brief flirtation with alcohol and drugs. I was not a functioning alcoholic, so I didn't get into this whole writing theater thing until my mid 30's. So yeah, I was looking around thinking...this is really cool...,
Not wanting to overstay my welcome I left after about 90 minutes of chatter. One of the coolest things on the wall? A costume sketch that Bob Mackie did for him. Charles told me Bob called him and said, "Hey Charles,I was going through some old papers and found this sketch I did of you. I was going to throw it away, but thought you might want it". Charles wanted it...,
posted by David on 4/07/2005 04:48:00 PM | Link |
My New York Way of Life #4The NYC reading. Rough. Very rough. The cast was assembled at 4pm. I gave a little intro speech about who I was and the history SCARRIE and so on and so forth. At 7pm we began the reading. This was the second time the cast had looked at the script and between sending Ryan script edits and new songs and such there were a few icy patches. SCARRIE is a very visual play in certain sections so the reading went okay. Probably the most humiliating aspect of the entire process was having to play the early rough demos of the songs that Taylor and I created to a room full of strangers. I was the vocalist. Miss Collins' disco rant 'Gonna Make You Sweat' seemed to amuse the cast, particularly when I hit those Diva high notes.
That said, the Executive Director of the Soho Playhouse liked the show and saw the potential and even told me he liked the music, particularly 'Telekinetic Prom', so we talked for a bit. My cell phone rang during rehearsal and I let it go to vm. After the read through and the applause I checked my voice mail. It was Charles Busch. Was I free to stop by his place to chat for a while?
posted by David on 4/05/2005 05:39:00 PM | Link |
Be a STAR with your CAR!We're looking for a big honking preferably 70's convertible for our entry in this years Pride Parade. As the parade falls a few days before we preview SCARRIE-The Musical, making a 'splash' is of the utmost importance for us this year to help fill seats. Ideally a donated vehicle is preferable but we would be willing to pay a reasonable rental fee if required and the owner may drive their own vehicle and experience the glamour that is the Gay Pride Parade.
In this circumstance a pristine car is probably not preferred since those people at the parade are animals and we want to embellish the car with prom decorations. There will be no real fake blood to drip onto the car interior. ANYBODY with any leads would be appreciated. The parade is Sunday, June 26. PLEASE let me know if you have any leads. email@example.com
posted by David on 4/04/2005 08:57:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeI just had a brilliant idea that would:
a. Boost the popularity of the ultra boring Catholic church
b. Make Mel Gibson even more money
c. Revive Roma Downeys career
A REALITY show to help pick the next Pope, sort of like The Starlet. Start with say a dozen potential Cardinals, all sorts, younger buffed ones and older ruggedly handsome ones. Have them live in the same loft style cathedral and have a weekly test for them and each week somebody would be eliminated by a panel of three. The hostess would be Sister Wendy. You know, she would be the one to walk the boys around and explain their assignments to them.
Tasks would include:
Convincing a victim of a rape not to have an abortion as procreation is part of God's plan..
Counseling and convincing a gay teen it's okay to to be gay as long as he never acts on his sexual feelings for the rest of his or her life.
advising a mother of 5 that birth control is NOT part of God's plan and encourage abstinence.
Quickly and quietly transfer 5 priests accused of molesting 7 children into a 5 different parishes without incident within 11 days.
Counsel a domestic abuse victim and convince him or her to honor the sanctity of their marriage vows.
I'm looking for suggestions as to who would be on the 3 person panel and a 'tagline' a la' 'You're fired' or 'Don't call us, we'll call you'...,
Potential panelists- Roma Downey, Jim Cavieziel, Lola Falana, Tom Bosley, Whoopie Goldberg, Mario Cantone (because every reality show needs a bitchy queen), and well you get the picture.
posted by David on 4/04/2005 03:20:00 PM | Link |
My Way of Life- SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN
Ding Dong the Pope is DEAD
Whenever I get one of those 'Name something we would knew about you?' interview questions I occasionally remember that I received Holy Communion from Pope John Paul back in I think 1979 when he was in Grant Park in Chicago. My friend and I did it on a lark. We were already a bit jaded as teenagers and we viewed it as a pop art event and we actually camped out overnight so we were like in the 3rd row. The pope's hand was never actually in my mouth, he had a 3rd party sticking the wafers in the various head holes. I'll never forget how nasty the nuns were when I had to go to the bathroom that morning. By then, the place was packed - 100's of thousands of people so getting back to the very front was no easy task. Oh, the LOOKS I got from the supposed group of folks gathered in the name of God and love.
posted by David on 4/03/2005 07:13:00 AM | Link |
My Way of LifeIt's 12: 10AM! He's not dead yet!
posted by David on 4/02/2005 07:11:00 AM | Link |
My Way of LifeBring it on! See the bottom story...,
posted by David on 4/02/2005 05:31:00 AM | Link |
My Way of LifeIt's 10: 24 and the Pope's not dead yet.
posted by David on 4/02/2005 05:26:00 AM | Link |
My New York Way of Life #3Sunday morning. It rained. And rained. And rained. This is the day I chose to walk around NYC with a bag full of what felt like anvils, but were actually the fabulous headbands my friend Cara designs. I was in Soho looking for the Patricia Fields boutique, Hotel Venus. After about an hour and half I was thinking maybe I was in the wrong neighborhood and some helpful fashionistas advised me that the Patricia Fields store had moved to W. Broadway Between Broome and Spring. Well shit, I knew where that store was. I was under the impression that Hotel Venus was a separate shop. It wasn't, it was just the same old Patricia Fields shop with a different name. I felt better because now I KNEW why they passed on our product. Our price points weren't in line with their customer base, young 20-something hipsters without a lot of money. Sort of like 99th Floor or The Alley here. Moto, the adorable girl who worked at the shop gave me a couple of referrals and even drew me a map. So with my 3 dollar umbrella in hand I went to Scoop and Bloomingdales, hopped up on coffee and soaking wet. After 4 hours of this I was exhausted but my efforts did not go unrewarded as I have generated interest in a referral from 'Sushi' at Patricia Fields, but I don't want to jinx it so enough about that.
I got back to my hotel room just in time to change clothes and meet the original Carrie White TJ O-Brien. I forgot how the hell he spells his name. Hyphen something..., TJ looked wonderful and has been smoke free for quite some time now. We caught up with each other and he's very happy in NYC which made me feel good because he had originally moved to the Big Apple to be in a production of the old version of SCARRIE! The Musical that was supposedly going to be produced by Todo Con Nada bullshitter Aaron Beall. Aaron is supposedly one of the founders of the original New York International Fringe Festival, but he told me so many 'stories' that I think he thinks he thinks he's responsible for everything from the Tonys to Rent!. TJ moved to NYC right before 9/11 and well, after that Aaron had about 789 excuses as to why SCARRIE! production was being delayed, and now I thank God he didn't produce it. New Yorkers, beware of this man. Lots of talk. No action.
After my chat with TJ I went to the Soho Playhouse where Big Gay Jim works to meet the Ryan and the actors and go through the revised SCARRIE-The Musical (No exclamation point) before the official 7pm reading.
posted by David on 4/01/2005 08:02:00 PM | Link |
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