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And also...

David interviews Margaret Cho

read the handblog...

6/29/2005

My Way of Life

Last night was more SCARRIE- The Musical tech, and it's uh...tech. People are tired, tempers are flaring, paranoia is seting in and I'm feeling a bit like Valerie Cherish. I sit there and watch, trying to maintain a persona of quiet optimism,...until the mics crackle and pop for the 117th time. The set needs building, the sound cues aren't finished and the backstage is about a as big as a NYC studio apartment, but things are still looking good. I mean, they could be worse..., Right?

posted by David on 6/29/2005 08:31:00 PM | Link |

 

6/28/2005

My Way of Life

My Domino's loving/water at the bar struggling NYC actor friend Jere is always sharing his rather obtuse dreams with us so I thought I would mention one that I had. I usually wouldn't do this because my dreams are either horribly transparent, or too disturbing to share with the world. But..., I sometimes have 'entertainment' dreams. Like, my own episodes of various television shows. I've had a couple of Law and Order SVU dreams, and the last one starred Merrie Greenfield, and for some reason I remember thinking in my dream while I was 'watching' it that this was Merrie's second appearance on the show. She played the victim in this particular episode, but I think she was the crazy villain in the former one. I don't even remember what the episode storyline but I remember Merrie had a bob style haircut and she was a housewife who didn't understand why what was happening to her was happening. I remember she was really good.

I was thinking I'm going through television withdrawal but I don't really watch that much television. I think I just miss Law and Order SVU and the warm embrace of Christopher Meloni and the Mariska Hargitay's concerned facial expression that I find so reassuring. I've been dreaming about my favorite television shows customized to fit my particular needs since childhood beginning with Batman and Gilligan's Island (I was one of the castaways and best friends with Ginger and Mary Ann). Okay, I have to ask..., What idiot would pay to attend this?
Although after having to create a biography listing my theater 'training and credentials' this would be very appropriate.

posted by David on 6/28/2005 09:31:00 PM | Link |

 

My Way of Life

SEALED THE BAD HERE. YOU LADY MANNEQUIN.

Okay, this is a little gem I found on Reverse Speech. What is Reverse Speech? It's how those filthy rockers convey Satanic messages to our children!

But listen to the parents of Jon Benet Ramsey in reverse speech. Creepy...,

posted by David on 6/28/2005 04:02:00 PM | Link |

 


Carrie and Tommy show their Prom Pride..., Posted by Hello

posted by David on 6/28/2005 05:49:00 AM | Link |

 

6/27/2005

My Way of Life

I can't help but think of Burger King whenever I read about this. Am I alone here or what?

posted by David on 6/27/2005 05:40:00 PM | Link |

 

My Way of Life

Yesterday was Pride Day here in Chicago so of course we had an entry in this years parade to promote the opening of SCARRIE- The Musical and it seems like every year the parade gets bigger and longer. Now, that's usually a good thing, but not when you're waiting in costume in the heat. Fortunately I did not have to march or roll in costume this year, but Ryan Lanning, Ed Jones, and Joey Steakley were troupers, and the SCARRIE Mean Girls were full of ENTHUSIASM. The kind of bubbly dancing in the streets enthusiasm that made me feel ashamed not to be a little more 'peppy' then I was. Being my 24th year as a Chicago resident, the 'magic' of it all decreases when you get a little older. Especially when you don't party any more.

We rented an 18 foot '68 Cadillac convertible and decorated the car in tacky 70's high school type prom decor with Steve Hickson driving and Margaret White riding shotgun and Carrie in her blood stained dress and Tommy riding as prom Queen and King waving and smiling at the crowd. They ate it up! They LOVED Carrie, and throughout the parade I heard 'They're all gonna laugh at you!', 'You eat SHIT Carrie White', and 'I can see your dirty pillows!'. It was pretty amazing how many people young and old knew immediately who was waving at them from the car. Part of it HAD to be the fact that Joey really does look like Sissy Spacek when he's in his Carrie costume, but it also confirms what I thought all along. 'Carrie' really is ingrained on our collective pop culture consciousness. Like Mickey Mouse, but in a a much cooler way.

When we got to Halsted and Cornelia it started getting a bit uh, SCARY. The barricades ran out and people were spilled onto the streets in a massive sea of all sorts of extremely Proud people. Of course the ones who you really don't want running up to you and grabbing you always do it. As a monitor it was my sworn duty to protect Carrie from her adoring fans. I was smacked, felt up, pinched, and giving people 'high fives' (I particularly loathe high fives). I don't know where half of these people came from but I suspect many of them were from Indiana, Michigan, Iowa, Wisconsin, and the lower depths of Illinois because they sure weren't any of the GAYS and LESBIANS I've seen hanging around the city. They were overwhelming and ruled the crowd.

Loud, boisterous, amd intentionally an unintentionally funny. They wore hopelessly out of date, bordering on unbelievable fashions and hairstyles, and they didn't seem to care! I was feeling kind of Donna Dasherish..., That is, snobbish and above it all. Never mind the fact that I had, just a few years been one of those obnoxious parade creatures that planned his outfits just for that particular day. But it was different for me. I was an alternative night creature back in the 80's, when it was still a little daring.

These were the faces of gay middle America in all their mullet wearing, frosted tip, thong /International Male glory. They were not the NYC metropolitan 'Sex in the City' homos. They weren't even the Kenneth Cole wearing bad Chicago versions of the metrosexual NYC hipster. They were the majority, and I thought if half of these people were as 'OUT' in their daily life as they were at the parade we probably would have a few more basic rights because these people obviously lived in the areas where those rights were probably needed the most.

Oh, half way through the car died and we PUSHED the 18 foot long, 3 ton 1968 Cadillac for the remainder of the parade. I say 3 tons because I'm calculating the actual weight of the car + Steve Hickson and Ed Jones..., It was too crowded to pull over anywhere! We don't seem to have luck with motorized vehicles in the parade...,

posted by David on 6/27/2005 03:37:00 PM | Link |

 

6/24/2005

My Way of Life

Okay, so I see Cameron Diaz as the concerned nutritionist who tried to warn them that their plan was ludicrous and dangerous...., perhaps Dakota Fanning as the girl trapped in goo?

posted by David on 6/24/2005 07:38:00 PM | Link |

 

My Way of Life

Byrd SMACKS DOWN Rumsfield. WHACK!

posted by David on 6/24/2005 05:27:00 PM | Link |

 

6/23/2005

My SCARRIE Way of Life

Let the press machine begin! Kudos to Joey Steakley & Adam Cook for getting us on the cover of the Windy City Times NightSpots!

Oh, and look, gossipy news about our arch-rivals, Corn Productions....,

posted by David on 6/23/2005 04:33:00 PM | Link |

 

My Way of Life


You think YOU have problems? What would you do with six legs and two penises? Well, okay.., what would you do with six legs? Does Iams make a special blend for that? Posted by Hello

posted by David on 6/23/2005 05:40:00 AM | Link |

 

6/22/2005

My Way of Life


Candid David moment #458.Meeting with Hickson.

Photo by Rick Aguilar www.rickaguilar.com Posted by Hello

posted by David on 6/22/2005 05:45:00 AM | Link |

 


Candid David moment #367. Sunning on my patio. I HATE tanlines. Posted by Hello

posted by David on 6/22/2005 05:44:00 AM | Link |

 

6/21/2005

My Way of Life

Any of your chubby leather friends missing?

posted by David on 6/21/2005 07:05:00 PM | Link |

 

6/20/2005

My Way of Life

WHY?

posted by David on 6/20/2005 08:41:00 PM | Link |

 

My Way of Life

She's Carrie, She's Carrie, She's Carrie, She's Carrie! Do ya' hear that bloody telekinetic train a comin'? We open in less then two weeks but the cast and crew are working at full force and things are looking good. We had our final production meeting yesterday and the backstage preparation was mind boggling. The cast is in good spirits and I'm seeing some pretty wonderful things come out of them.

posted by David on 6/20/2005 07:45:00 PM | Link |

 


A new addition to my 'hot men on the toilet' series..., Posted by Hello

posted by David on 6/20/2005 09:10:00 AM | Link |

 


Did anybody catch this issue? Posted by Hello

posted by David on 6/20/2005 09:06:00 AM | Link |

 

6/19/2005

My Way of Life

Just got home from dinner and seeing the new Bat movie, which was interesting, but not hair raising. My favorite Batman film is still Tim Burton's Batman Returns.I missed the costumed villains and Catwoman and Penguin with Pfeiffer and Devito. This Gotham was Chicago,and it DID have the gothic feel of Burton's, but it took a while for it to get going, and can somebody tell me why they even bother to have a love interest in these films? Katie Holmes played Katie Holmes= Boring. A creepy bright spot in the film was Cillian Murphy , who has creepy pretty boy on botox facial features, and played the developing Scarecrow villain. Christian Bale was moody and hot, and Gary Oldman, is living up to his name. Old Man.

Spent 5 1/2 hours at Taylors going over SCARRIE music note by note to with Margot and Bobbie and it was interesting to see what happens to your music when you're not around. A few surprises here and there. After that I went home and crawled under the covers. Unfortunately we will not have a live band for the show as we had hoped for, but music is still going to rock. I promise you.

posted by David on 6/19/2005 07:04:00 AM | Link |

 

6/17/2005

My Way of Life

Got this link from Jakes blog.I usually don't blatantly rip off links but this is too good not to share. Belated birthday present anyone?

posted by David on 6/17/2005 05:48:00 AM | Link |

 

6/16/2005

My Way of Life

Did you know General Burkhalter died this month? So did Nicole Kidman's make-up artist causing her to snap at a photographer at the Bewitched premier. I found a very cool entertainment obituary site. Derrick's gonna pee his pants.

posted by David on 6/16/2005 08:50:00 PM | Link |

 

6/14/2005

My Way of Life

So here's my obligatory CONGRATULATIONS to Jeff Award winners with Hell in a Handbag ties.

Best ensemble- Parade- featuring HIAH ensemble members Brannen Daugherty, Steve Kimbrough, and stage managed by Brooke 'Juicy' Allen.

Best Director of a musical- David Zak for Parade. Mr. Zak directed POSEIDON! An Upside Down Musical.

Music Direction- Merrily We Roll Along. Derek was in it.

Although the Jeff Committee failed to recognize ensemble member Brigitte Ditmars, Ms. Ditmars will ALWAYS be bestest EVERYTHING to us. Besides, she won last year!

posted by David on 6/14/2005 07:13:00 PM | Link |

 

This One's for Michael Jackson


Here I am posing with one of my prize students, Claude Daigle as 'Miss Fern' in the Chicago smash hit, The Bad Seed-The Musical Posted by Hello

Please, Michael, don't stop loving the children.

posted by David on 6/14/2005 05:25:00 AM | Link |

 

My Way of Life

From the letters department:

Dear David,

I know you are constantly on the go what, with your modeling career, acting, and writing SCARRIE-The Musical, but I clicked on the SCARRIE cast and was shocked to see neither your or Steve Hickson's name on it! What gives? We all know what YOU'RE up to because you tell everybody every trivial detail on your Blog that's supposed to be about Handbag, but what's Steve doing? He's not back on the 'stuff', is he?

Signed,
Worried in Wicker Park

Dear Worried-

If by' stuff' you mean producing a rollicking new musical comedy, then the answer is yes. Steve is taking a Handbag producing breather and working with Single Box Turn Productions on their new late night show Band Geeks: A Half Time Musical, written by those clever people who did 'Little House on the Parody', one of my favorite shows last year or whenever it was done. It's going to the International New York Fringe Festival this year. Who could forget my method acting performance of the 'pig'? I drew blood from a fellow cast member.
Band Geeks is written by Becky "Dolly" Eldridge, Amy "Nellie Olsen" Peterson and that dreamy genius Andy Eninger who has wrist muscles bigger then my thighs.

It's set in the late 80's and our own Ed Jones is even in it as well. Better yet so is Dori Goldman, one of the funniest women (bio-woman) in the business!

So that's what Steve's doing. He's not dead, and we're not in a bitter feud, just a mild one. It opens July 15, so keep checking their website for more details. No, Steve's not in that, but he IS in Psycho Beach Party,written by my friend and mentor Charles Busch. Steve is playing the part I wanted to play, the mother. More on that later. I have to go poop.

sincerely,

David 'Miss Fern' Cerda (currently appearing in the Jeff Recommended 'The Bad Seed-The Musical)

posted by David on 6/14/2005 02:34:00 AM | Link |

 

6/13/2005

My Way of Life

Okay, I admit it...,today is my..my...,BIRTHDAY. So far I got a Prada shirt from Carrots, the Joan Crawford Boxed Set collection from Hickson, Freaks and Grand Hotel from Marianne, Chris and Matthew (my nephews), cupcakes from my ensemble, lots of sweet greetings from friends and a Hollywood Divas DVD from Mikey Miller. I feel like a big jerk because I have so much to be grateful for and I'm letting a number upset me. I think it might be due to the fact that it's a number associated with a certain time in a man's life that I can't deal with. Sometimes I don't think I'll ever be satisfied with anything I accomplish, and sometimes all I have to do is see somebody perform something I wrote and I feel all gushy inside. It really depends on the day, the hour, the minute. I'm rather insane, but in a normal, needy, insecure artist sort of way, not the Jeffrey Dahmer, eat your lover, way. SCARRIE opens in 3 weeks and we're faced with some critical decisions, like any other show we've ever done in the past, and it's just a lot to deal with man! Poor me. Poor me. Pour me another drink. Oh, and Chris left the house today without wishing me Happy Birthday until I mentioned it to him. I got an e-mail from him for my birthday.

posted by David on 6/13/2005 08:57:00 PM | Link |

 

6/10/2005

My Way of Life

Today started at the dentists office finishing up a root canal in the upper corner of my mouth (where else would it be?). The only unpleasantness was having to keep my mouth wide open for an hour. Time was when that wasn't a chore..., I don't mind the dentist, what with all the advances made, it really doesn't hurt to have root canal anymore.

Last night we had yet another sold out Bad Seed-The Musical show, and we are in the what would have been the final week, so we're losing some cast members, which will be sad. Fear not, I will be staying on as the tight-assed headmistress Miss Fern. I've grown quite fond of her.

Sunday we have a staged reading of what we think will be our new Holiday show, Judy's Scary Little Xmas. I can never seem to get the name right...., It's set in 1959 and it's Judy's big comeback Holiday special featuring Bing Crosby, Ethel Merman, Liberace, Lillian Hellman, Richard Nixon and Joan Crawford. Guess what part I will be reading? Things seem to go smoothly until an UNEXPECTED guest arrives. No, I didn't write this. We heard about this show and did a little Googling and corresponded with the authors and one thing is leading to another..., So we shall see. My artistic committee is smitten with show. I had some reservations but after the rehearsal read through I realized it's got great potential. We've got some very talented Handbaggers that are just full of surprises.

SCARRIE- The Musical is coming along swimmingly, thankyou for asking. We're heading for the wire, and much to my delight the press seems very interested as well. The cast and crew are doing a remarkable job. As Miss Collins would say 'It is a very big deal'. This show involves a lot of behind the scenes work. More then I imagined. Ms. Anderson and Ms. Bordelon are holding up quite well. Kudos to them even though I probably drive them crazy with my incessant questions and e-mails. We open July 2, so keep your calendar open because you're going to want to see this one more then once.

posted by David on 6/10/2005 07:56:00 PM | Link |

 

My SCARRIE Way of Life...,


Tapeworm, tartar sauce, taxidermy, teasel, Tel-Aviv, Telly Savalas...,[MUSIC STOPS]
(Reads slowly)
Tel-e-kin-ee-sis, Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Telekinesis, But Were Afraid To Ask.
Posted by Hello
Opening July 2...for SIX weeks only! Get your tickets now....,by calling the Theatre Building Chicago box office at (773) 327-5252. Group sales are also available by calling (312) 409-4357.

posted by David on 6/10/2005 06:09:00 AM | Link |

 

6/09/2005

My Way of Life

Yes, gay people are stupid too.

posted by David on 6/09/2005 05:33:00 PM | Link |

 

6/07/2005

My Way of Life

Yesterday I was suffering from 'nervous exhaustion'- one of my favorite celebrity maladies, so I passed on the SCARRIE rehearsal and laid low. Thinking about everything to come can be a bit overwhelming and I wonder if that has to do with my episodes of sheer inertia.

posted by David on 6/07/2005 05:18:00 PM | Link |

 

6/06/2005

My Way of Life

I'm still recovering from the ick that I caught last week and am feeling a bit depressed and run down, but the show(s) must go on! The Bad Seed- The Musical is doing quite well and selling out almost every night, and we had another SCARRIE production meeting going over the many details that it takes to produce an original musical. It ain't easy, and can be a bit overwhelming at times. Last night I went to to a SCARRIE-The Musical rehearsal and watch Bobbi Bagby construct the dance for the big 'It's the Prom!' number, and I just kept thinking I would probably have heart attack even attempting to do anything like that. The cast was great. Enthusiastic, fun and flexible. The song is not singer friendly and they constantly amaze me with their patience and willingness to learn, as does Jon Mercado, Taylor Ross, Peter Storms and our lovely SM, Serena. Every show we do is a learning process and considering our budget, although big for us, we face so many challenges, and challenges with personalities and communication issues can make for a tempestuous brew, but things are cooking at an aromatic simmer now. We're learning to to adjust the flame as we go along.

Speaking of flames, have you seen the beginnings of the SCARRIE-The Musical publicity photos? Click here to see Rick Aguilar's wonderful photography and Michael Miller's brilliant graphics.

I missed the Tony Awards although it looks like there were no surprises, although I would have like to have seen the Reverend Al Sharpton in 'Spelling Bee' show segment. I ended up taping Lisa Kudrow's 'Comeback' on HBO. It's about a former sitcom star that is taping a reality show of herself while being cast in a new sitcom. It wasn't gut wrenching funny, but has great potential, and I also enjoy Ms. Kudrow. Her weird timing is priceless. I never even watched may episodes of 'Friends'. I enjoy her film work, and I think her performance 'The Opposite of Sex' is just about one the best out there.

posted by David on 6/06/2005 06:52:00 PM | Link |

 

6/02/2005

My Way of Life

But she checked on them! Jeez, people get so touchy...,

posted by David on 6/02/2005 07:17:00 PM | Link |

 

6/01/2005

My Way of Life

My apologies for not posting in a few days but I've just not had the time. Between writing and this head full of snot I acquired Sunday I'm not motivated to do a lot but write and work. I have a damn cold. I've tried to attend more SCARRIE rehearsals. The show is looking good. We're facing our usual challenges that ultimately come down to our budget. I hate that people can come up with millions of dollars to produce crap like _____________, but we have to struggle to pay a semi-decent wage. It gets debilitating sometimes., but the rewards are worth it. Everybody is working their asses off and it's fun to watch the kids in action.

I saw 4 Murders Saturday, Brett Neveu's kajillionth play this year. It was intriguing. My pal Doug Vickers, looking all sexy in his PJ's, stood out in an amazingly good cast.

So, the The Bad Seed-The Musical made the cover of Gay Chicago and I was astounded when I saw it! I mean, Venus Zarris really more then likes the show. It's her new cult. It's funny because many of the campy shows she mentions as being produced in Chicago our written by me, but I don't think she's made the connection. Apparently, nothing can compare to The Bad Seed-The Musical-not even Spamalot. All right, Todd and Robert deserve the praise but why the hell haven't the Tribune or Sun-Times come to see the show yet? They certainly have dropped the ball.

posted by David on 6/01/2005 08:05:00 PM | Link |

 

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