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FUN LINKSChicago TheaterARFTCo and also in Los Angeles...and also in Baltimore...Blogs We LoveA Hole In The Head People We LoveAndi World POSEIDON!The Official Carol Lynley Home Page Handblog Archives
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003 And also...David interviews Margaret Cho |
read the handblog...4/30/2006My Way of LifeWe're so lonely. Won't you be our friend?posted by David on 4/30/2006 06:39:00 AM | Link |
4/29/2006My Way of LifeMy job has severely impeded my Blogging for the past couple of days and I have pretty awesome news. If you checked out the front page of the Handbag website you know that that there is a special benefit performance of The Birds that I co-wrote with Pauline Pang on May 13 with a special cameo by Tippi Hedren herself. Well, I just got a confirmation that Suzanne Pleshette and Veronica Cartwright will attend as well. I'm stunned and grateful and terrified. Please remind me of this the next time you here moaning or complaining about just about anything. So now you really should try to go...posted by David on 4/29/2006 04:48:00 AM | Link |
4/26/2006My Way of LifeJoey Steakley in drag is no big surprise. He played Carrie White in our epic, SCARRIE-The Musical, but out macho man Chad McLaughlin? See you there tonight....8:30ish... posted by David on 4/26/2006 07:45:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeMerrie in the MorningSo I'm lying in bed. It's time to get up. I'm tired. The radio is playing. Chris always listens to WBEZ, the local public radio station- the one that's ruining it's format. When suddenly I hear 'subscribers like MERRIE GREENFIELD'. I wake up screaming. posted by David on 4/26/2006 03:14:00 PM | Link |
4/25/2006It Comes From CaringMike Miller and Steve Kimbrough*. posted by David on 4/25/2006 04:47:00 PM | Link |
Doing the SlideIn our stage version I desperately wanted to recreate this scene. I thought a little fishing line tied to an ankle...but noboby would go for it....posted by David on 4/25/2006 04:44:00 PM | Link |
simpsonsposeidon1Panic!posted by David on 4/25/2006 04:41:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeLisa Simpson copying Ed Jones.posted by David on 4/25/2006 04:39:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeSunday night there was a Simpsons Poseidon Adventure parody. I caught quite by accident as I had know idea they had planned on doing it. It was part of a tales at sea trilogy, and it wasn't one of their best but they obviously did their homework when it came to the sets and capsize because they copied the some of the capsizing moments perfectly including Nelson's mom, Louanne, sliding across the floor screaming and the piano crushing incident. As rushed as this was it was still better the Beyond the Poseidon Adventure with Michael Caine, Sally Field, Telly Savalas, Shirley Jones and Slim Pickens. A group of us tried to watch it that Sunday afternoon and just couldn't finish it. One of the more suspenseful moments had passengers jumping over a hole in the floor.posted by David on 4/25/2006 04:04:00 PM | Link |
4/24/2006My Way of Life@#%* = My mind lately. I've been 'out of sorts' lately swinging from one mood to the next. Do I need to change my meds? Am I going through menopause? How could I? I'm only 39.posted by David on 4/24/2006 03:15:00 PM | Link |
4/21/2006My Way of LifeSometimes I get angry...  Sometimes you get sucked into a stupid conflict and you get mad at yourself for letting yourself get sucked into the idiot universe of the person you're having the disagreement with. Particularly when you knew this person was what you knew they were all along? Does that make sense? For example, I have found myself in of all things, a Joan Crawford related internet spat. No, I'm not making that up. The other thing is a little more substantial, but it doesn't involve anybody in Handbag. God, why can't people just do what I say? posted by David on 4/21/2006 03:56:00 AM | Link |
4/20/2006My Way of LifeGIVE TIL IT HURTS...Handbag's favorite little sister, Brooke Allen is collecting for the Y-Me Breast Cancer Organization. She needs 1,000.00 by Friday! I know the name is dumb (Sounds like Nancy Kerrigan named it), but it's a great cause. Click here to donate. posted by David on 4/20/2006 04:47:00 PM | Link |
4/19/2006My Way of LifeCheers Steve-A-Ree-No Jayne is tickled pink to offer Handbag Managing Director, ensemble member and resident Mrs. Claus, Steve Hickson congratulations on his recent acceptance to GAYCO Productions, good friends of Hell in a Handbag. Sure, they're kind of Gay, but there's certainly nothing wrong with that in this day and age. Let's hope we can ride on Steve's coattails, I mean bask in his triumph. Cheers! posted by David on 4/19/2006 05:40:00 AM | Link |
4/18/2006My Way of LifeMelissa Etheridge must be breaking up with her current lover.posted by David on 4/18/2006 08:37:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeMy big tough, not quite 2 year old niece, Sammy who kind of looks like gay Vito from the Sopranos in a dress, but cuter, usually gives me one pity smile then walks away from me as if she has better things to do then hug her Unca Dabid. Sunday, I walk into my sisters house and Sammy looks at me, says 'Unca Dabid!' and raises her arms in the air to be picked up. I was speechless. I had one of those 'moments'. You know, the ones where you forgot about all the rotten things going on in the world and just appreciate the here and now. I gotta tell you... that girl is heavy.posted by David on 4/18/2006 05:01:00 PM | Link |
4/17/2006My Way of LifeWe have an odd dress code at the company Brigitte and I work at. The code varies from department to department. Most of the people in my department wear jeans but I try to reserve that priviledge for a couple of days a week. There are a few departments where the dress code seems to be 'whatever you find while dressing in the dark', and some of these people's outfits are simply appalling. Today there's a guy, who looks like the unibomber and he's wearing a zip up hoodie, khakis and Tevas with no socks. We have a girl in the IT department that buys all of her shoes at Strippers 'R' Us and doesn't know how to walk in them. In collections there's a women who I've named Highheelia. She wears spiked heels with a skirt or jeans, and she's gotta be at least 50. She really thinks she's the bees knees, too. I don't think she could walk in anything else. There's a hot guy who Brigitte and I call the 'Tim Howard guy'. He dresses really nice and has never looked at me or said a word to me for 3 years now, just like Hickson! Then there's the women that have been with the company for years that look like they're wearing sleep sets to work. What is it with trashy people and that fucking cartoon character clothing? You know, the Disney and Warner Brother characters. There's a woman who wears 'Winnie the Pooh' crap all of the time- specifically Eeyore. She actually looks like Eeyore and always acts like I'm going to hit her when I say hello to her. My clothes are a mixed bag. I wear things to work I would never wear anywhere else. Like the shirt I'm wearing today. It's an 'office shirt'. A black printed Perry Ellis button down collar shirt I bought at the outlet mall. I'd feel weird wearing it to the grocery store.posted by David on 4/17/2006 05:43:00 PM | Link |
4/14/2006My Way of LifeI had the strangest dream. In it, Cher, Tina Turner and Kate Smith were singing a Beatles medley, and Tim Conway was dressed like a yellow submarine.posted by David on 4/14/2006 03:10:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeAnother disillusioned gangsta' ho. Please ho's...Don't give up on your dreams.posted by David on 4/14/2006 02:54:00 PM | Link |
4/13/2006My Way of LifeIt's getting warm out and now comes the confusing period of what to wear. Sandals? Flip-flops? Shorts? Tank tops? I feel naked without a jacket, which doubles as a purse. My purse is actually my briefcase, so I have no room for important things like lip gloss, keys and wallets because some of my pants are a bit snug... This clothing dilemma was prompted by my visit to the Boystown neighborhood (It's a Chicago thing) where people were already skipping about in shorts and flippys throwing daisy's down Broadway avenue. I actually wore a pair of white shoes to work a few days ago. They were my new Ben Shermans and after holding off for a couple of weeks I was itchin' to break them in. Brigitte, saw them and sniffed, 'I always thought you had to wait until Memorial Day to wear white'. I think she had a slight German accent when she said it. Yeah, everybody thinks she's sweet but she can be cold...Here's the link to make you feel better about yourself at the expense of others. posted by David on 4/13/2006 07:34:00 PM | Link |
4/12/2006My Way of LifeMichael L. Jackson, would you take your meds for God's sake????posted by David on 4/12/2006 09:34:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeI ended up getting home later then usual last night after Timmy Howard and I met with David Zak and talked about things. Theater type things. So, I settled down with dinner by 7:30 and watched the American Idol clones take on the ridiculous task of singing Queen songs. Good Lord, why don't they just dig up Freddy Mercury's body up and attach strings to his remains and hop it up and down the stage? You know it's bad when I think Taylor was the most entertainig, although I only saw the second half. I would have loved to see Kelly 'Pick Pickler' sing Bohemian Rhapsody...No, I didn't write because I discovered an awesome kick-ass band that lives right here in Chicago. The Countdown. I love them. I don't get out much I guess. posted by David on 4/12/2006 07:02:00 PM | Link |
4/11/2006My Way of LifeYou have a SISTER, a SISTER, A SISTER, a SISTER....Proving that the pop cultural camp...camp is a small world Steve Hickson alerted me to a theater company in Kansas City of all places, that has been around since 1996 called Late Night Theatre. This is like when I discovered Ryan Landry's Gold Dust Orphans. It's frightening to see the company similarities in the material they've covered including back in the day (1997) when most of were in Sweetback Productions. The Birds, Valley of the Dolls, Carrie, lesbian western/Johnny Guitar type fare. What I immediately like about this company is the graphics and sets. They, like us, know that cool artwork really helps sell the show and I can't help but be envious of the concept of mixing the Importance of Being Earnest and Three's Company. I mean , it's as obvious as the nose on my face and believe me, that's pretty obvious. Most of us all seem to do our own thing and feel so alone and under-appreciated. Okay, maybe it's just me. It's good to know there are others out there just like us... spreading the gospel through wigs and heels. The artwork is on par with our own Mike Miller. Brilliant! posted by David on 4/11/2006 05:40:00 PM | Link |
4/10/2006My Way of LifeI know...let's ask Anne Archer! Huh? Scientology may discourage drugs and painkillers but they are obviously are all for bad plastic surgery. I mysteriously can't find any picture's of her hideous work. Not even here! Maybe the work of them????posted by David on 4/10/2006 06:59:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeMy goodness, my neck is sore. I haven't a clue why. Yesterday I had my hair did by the fabulous BC ' Jayne Baby' Kalz at Aria Salon. Salon to the stars. Derek C. and Steve H. were there before me. Since my hair styling process is top secret I'm always BC's last client, since I certainly can't have the press knowing all of my secrets. I love getting my hair done at Aria because Anthony Serranilla has video mix tapes of everything I should have seen on television such as all of the poor pathetic American Idol rejects for me to watch while my hair is going through it's youthening process. I've decided that BC and I should dress like Crystal Parizanski and her mother.So anyway, I went to Derek's birthday party Saturday night and had a great time hanging with all the kids. I had to leave after the tape stretching my face started to loosen. Eric just wouldn't have understood. Trista and Merrie and BC didn't go and Tim Howard was like in San Francisco and Steve Hickson was apparently asked to leave before I got there. posted by David on 4/10/2006 05:02:00 AM | Link |
4/09/2006I just want to be loved... Derek looking wistful.Everyone join me in wishing Handbagger Derek Czaplewski a happy birthday. Derek is 20 something and single. I met him during...was it POSEIDON? He can play everything from a reindeer to Bing Crosby. He's admired by many a boys and girls. Let's all say something nice to him for his birthday. I'll start! Derek, your new headshots almost look like you. posted by David on 4/09/2006 02:21:00 AM | Link |
4/07/2006My Way of LifeI can't believe Sharon Stone copied my 'Rudolph the Red-Hosed Reindeer' contract demands! I think I need to see Basic Instinct 2.posted by David on 4/07/2006 05:01:00 PM | Link |
4/06/2006My Way of LifeThere must be a magnet implanted in my ass and the couch because I couldn't get off of it last night. No gym, no nuthin'. Chris wasn't home until late. I tried to watch American Idol but I find the singing parts sooooo boring. Boring, boring, boring. Sure, I would never buy or support the kind of star or music that this show creates, but watching the desperate and manipulative contestants is what keeps me interested. I loathe Kellie Pickler. I thought she was a fake from the word go with her Gomer Pyle meets Loretta Tortelli act, and as usual, I was right again. Big ole' Mandisa was eliminated and I was kind of pissed, but I didn't care enough to actually watch the show. BC had to tell me later in the evening. Where's your Christ now, Mandisa?What the hell is going on with Hell in a Handbag? After all, this is the Handblog. Your guess is as a good as mine. We're finally having an ensemble meeting to discuss...ensemble matters. You know, fun stuff, like rules, requirements. I think we've finally decided on a board meeting date to discuss what we can possibly do this year. I'd like to do something. My hands are sort of tied. posted by David on 4/06/2006 04:39:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeShameless PLUG alert:Today's the day! Friend of Handbag Andymatic's new book just came out: Blogwild! A Guide for Small Business Blogging . As part of the book launch promotion, if you purchase the book on April 6th through Amazon.com (only $12.97), you'll receive $50 off your choice of Six Figure Blogging, Easy Bake Weblogs, RSS Essentials or Business Blog Basics. This is a great opportunity to grab this hot new book as well as an online course to ensure your success - and support one of our own blogger's publishing debut. Buy the book now over at http://www.GOblogwild.com/ What's this have to do with me or Hell in a Handbag? Uh... I'm writing a musical based on his book- yeah, that's it... posted by David on 4/06/2006 06:18:00 AM | Link |
4/05/2006My Way of LifeAre you a good person? Well, are you? TV's Kurt Cameron knows and is willing to sell you stuff to make you a better person so you can sit next to him and his sister Candace, in the kingdom of Heaven. They of course, will have better seats then you since they are celebrities. Candace walks with Jesus and wears clinging sweaters so that God may better see her ample bosom from the clouds.posted by David on 4/05/2006 08:49:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeI went to the gym last night and as I was showing my ID and giving them my dollar to get a small towel I thought about how most of the people workling behind any counter just look like they'd rather be anywhere but there and how they don't even try to hide the fact that they hate sitting behind that counter or at the that cash register anymore. This happens to me quite frequently when I go to pick up prescriptions at Walgreens. Now only do I get a look of total indifference, but I find myself being extra nice to these people because not only do they know every pill I ingest but they have the power to kill me.posted by David on 4/05/2006 04:10:00 PM | Link |
4/04/2006My Way of LifeYesterday I ran to Target after work and hurriedly bought snacks and such for the second read through of Caged Dames. I also bought a couple of bottles of wine hoping nobody from that cult would see me staring longingly at the mind-boggling selection. I have no idea what kind to buy so I just get the nicest bottle design for a moderate price. I don't buy the cheapest, but I won't buy the priciest. The kids all drink wine. It's the new beer. anyway, I laid out all the snacks and looked over the eye-popping colors of the treats and realized I'm still 10 years old. Cheetos,M& M's, chocolate chip cookies and brownies. When I was ten we had a secret club. We met in slutty Val Jean Michalik's garage, listened to music, played truth or dare and made out under her pool table. I was in charge of gathering the money to buy snacks for our parties and Cheetos were high on the list of favorite clubhouse treats. A year later I found myself in another club with some neigborhood boys that didn't involve Cheetos, but that's probably not appropriate for this Blog.How did the read-through go? Fine, thanks for asking.I will leave you with a link from fellow Joanafile, Ms. Alex Billings. posted by David on 4/04/2006 05:42:00 PM | Link |
4/03/2006My Way of LifeChannel Surfing- Daddy's Little Girl on Women's Entertainment...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! Yucky-yuck-yuck. Gross girls who are probably turning up the 'spoiled girl' notch for television but gross all the same. Not even hot Edie Sedgewick tragic gross but total waste of oxygen gross. I've seen a couple of these but yesterday was by far the worse. Miss Lauren Gold who looks like a cross between Paris Hilton and Jay Leno. She's so bad it seems scripted, which it very may be. I love when she's tries on dresses for her daddy and prancers out in this too tight, too small piece of filth that adds about 140 lbs. to her football frame and but buys it cause it's the only one left in the store. Her dream is to go to India to do like, Indian stuff and to prove her dedication she wears a Sari to an Indian restaurant and TOTALLY impress her parents withher knowledge of Indian potato dishes. I found a Myspace profile that may be her or not, but there's no question that these are the profiles of her gross friends she makes out with when she drinks because well, when you have the money you do what the pig tells you to do, right? This is why the world is ending. So noTORIus- VH1 - This was funny! Yes, you heard right. I think this will get better when they get their groove on. Sometimes it tried a little too hard to be 'hip' but I gotta say I will be watching this one again. They had an amusing Scientology storyline last night with Tori's gay Iranian friend making out full force with the Tom Cruise-ish short closeted gay actor and Loni Anderson is scary as hell as Tori's real fake momma with Farrah Fawcett making a uncomfortable guest appearance and Tori is the butt of many a joke. Anthony from Aria Salon must be in heaven! posted by David on 4/03/2006 09:38:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeFriday- Saw Urinetown, at the Mercury Theater which just happens to have been produced ensemble member Matt Gunnels. Believe it or not I'd never seen Urinetown. I have the cast recording given to me a few years ago by the Mr. Gunnels, so I knew I'd like the music. I can see why it won a Tony, and knowing what kind of shit they go for on Broadway I' m actually kind of surprised it won the Tony. This is a dark show-presented with an ear to ear grin. I'm not a theater critic (thank God) so I'll just tell you straight out that Chris and I loved the show. As I said, I'd never actually saw the show so it was pretty fantastic to see that this kind of show actually was a hit with the masses- in New York, that is. It's definitely worth seeing. The cast, for the most part was wonderful but of course my favorite was Christine Sherrill as Miss Pennywise who channelled all the great tough movie dames from the 1940's. This show deserves a long run, so go see it. Good job, Matt!Saturday- I didn't leave the house. NO gym, NO errands, NO NUTHIN'. I spent the afternoon reformatting the POSEIDON! An Upside Down Musical script. Well, I'm reformatting it the best I can with the weird template I used for it 5 years ago. It was a very POSEIDON! day as I made copies of the Bailiwick DVD with my new laptop and actually watched some of the scenes. No I wasn't dressed in my hot pink 70's pant suit downing scotches while I did this... I cooked a delicious dinner of chicken and whole wheat spaghetti, had a Dove bar, then spent the remaining evening violently vomiting up said dinner. Chris was fine. This is another bonus of aging for me. For some reason I can't scarf down tomato based meals and rich ice cream like I used to. Natures way of trying to keep my weight down? Sunday- ANOTHER birthday for my nephew and niece. When you have six this is a regular and expensive occurence. Jillian, who looks you straight in the eye and says 'I'm the QUEEN', turned 5 and Ethan, the little boy who is always not getting his due turned 7. Ethan decided that he didn;t want to share his birthday and wasn't very grateful for his presents. My sister, who busted her ass for him was not amused and when she's mad her deep voice turns to a low growl. 'Maybe you should go to your room if you're going to behave this way' ...okay. Ethan went to his room and laid in his bed and cried. Uncle Chris had to go and talk to him and pretty soon he was back full of apologies. The kids love their Uncle Chris. Aunt Joan stayed in the dining room with the QUEEN because the QUEEN needed somebody to help her open her packages and set up the actual microphone & stand her father gave her so she could continue her career as a singer/songwriter. Her first big hit is 'It's Winter'. I'm not kidding. posted by David on 4/03/2006 03:44:00 PM | Link |
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