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FUN LINKSChicago TheaterARFTCo and also in Los Angeles...and also in Baltimore...Blogs We LoveA Hole In The Head People We LoveAndi World POSEIDON!The Official Carol Lynley Home Page Handblog Archives
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003 And also...David interviews Margaret Cho |
read the handblog...6/30/2006My Way of LifeI'm in the process of talking to potential directors for Caged Dames and the variety of applicants is WIDE. I'm really booked as I'm trying to get this out of the way within a couple of weeks. So far all of the applicants have been people I know but starting today there are people I've never met, just e-mailed, so it's sort of a like meeting someone on a blind date. Since I've never been on a blind date, or that many regular dates for that matter, it's kind of exciting. Will we click? Will they have some weird tick or physical growth I can't stop staring at? What if they wear a Hootie and the Blowfish t-shirt? Do I just stop the interview right then and there?posted by David on 6/30/2006 06:56:00 PM | Link |
6/29/2006My Way of LifeIf had a nickel for every time this has happened to one of my friends I'd have at least 11 nickels.posted by David on 6/29/2006 10:52:00 PM | Link |
My Way of Life- 10 Years= Nose hair trimmerChris and I are celebrating our 10 year anniversary today, so being the true romantic that I am I got him a present we both can use... posted by David on 6/29/2006 04:18:00 PM | Link |
6/28/2006My Way of LifeThe transvestites, Ogle said, appear to be drug-addicted and fearless in their lust for designer shoes, jackets and jewelry.posted by David on 6/28/2006 09:23:00 PM | Link |
My Way of Life- Ray RayYesterday I learned an old friend of mine passed away quite unexpectedly (for me, at least). Ray Thomas. I met Ray over 14 years ago but I had seen him around in the Chicago night club/bar scene long before that. We would nod to each occasionally. A silent acknowledgement of our fabulousness. I got to know Ray much better after we both made some lifestyle changes and Ray ended up directing and appearing in the first play I ever wrote. The 12 Stepford Wives, a 2 1/2 hour epic that ran for two nights. Ray loved the play and really encouraged me when I started writing. Ray loved the stage and could could probably walk better in 5 inch spiked heels then in a pair of Nikes. He was the very first Elfano, the Boss Elf in Rudolph, The Red-Hosed Reindeer back in 1997 (or was it '98?), and I'll never forget his his Trailer Trash Barbie moment when he looked down on stage, picked up a cigarette butt, looked around, brushed it off, then lit it as is if he was a Hollywood movie star. posted by David on 6/28/2006 04:13:00 PM | Link |
6/27/2006My Way of LifeI was supposed to got the gym last night but I just couldn't. I ended up going over resumes and trying to create spreadsheets for the future Caged Dames production team. Oh, how I wish I would have listened during my years at the Calumet City Secretarial and Manicure Institute!posted by David on 6/27/2006 07:20:00 PM | Link | My Way of Life-Joey Heatherton for Serta mattresses If I were a woman I would be this. I used to dance along to this commerical as a kid. I always thought the Joey Heatherton was one of the most beuatiful, glamorous women in the world. Not as beautiful as Ginger from Gilligan's Island, but damned close. Those of you who know me would know this is as natural as breathing for me. Thanks BC! posted by David on 6/27/2006 05:57:00 AM | Link |
6/26/2006My Way of LifeI spent my PRIDE Day in a role scarier then playing Joan Crawford in a wheel chair. I was Uncle David and myself and Uncle Chris took the older half of our nephews and nieces to see Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties. Now, I did not want to see the new Garfield film with all of my heart and if Deborah Harry called me and said, 'Hey David, I'm in Chicago! Wanna catch the new Garfield flick?' I would have most likely declined, but being an uncle makes you do strange things.Michael Miller said , 'isn't being an uncle great?' It is. Although when you spend more then 5 minutes with the 2 or more of the kids there's a disciplinary challenge. Do I do what my parents did and what I learned to do with my brothers and sisters and put a stop to bad behavior with a swift smack? No. I'm happy to report the automatic reflex to do that is mostly gone, thank God. The urge to yell is still there but I try to suppress that too. I also desperately try to avoid the 'You're an idiot' tone that I was all to familiar with as a child. However... I refuse to try and negotiate with a child like they're an adult, the way I see the manicured moms in the Andersonville Starbucks do. They're kids and they do need discipline mixed with loads of love. They need to know who's in charge but they also need to feel safe and always know that they're loved which for me, is like walking on a tightrope, but I'm getting better at it every day. One of the best parts of taking the kids out is watching Uncle Chris being Uncle Chris. The kids adore him and he's such a boy himself my nephews love it when he acts like one of them. I bond more with the girls and the introspective Ethan. The ride home included a trip to McDonald's and the boys telling me that Blondie is bald and eats her own boogers. These comments elicited hysterical laughter from all, including Uncle Chris. Of course I defended Debbie Harry as if I were in a very melodramatic 40's MGM film which made them laugh even more. Even with them I'm an attention whore. Ethan, my 7 year old little troublemaker, who is constantly at odds with his older brother Sebastian, 'who gets everything his way' looked at me and said, 'You're stuck with Uncle Chris the way I'm stuck with Sebastian, right?' posted by David on 6/26/2006 06:07:00 PM | Link |
6/25/2006My Way of LifeWhat Ever Happened To Baby Jane? - DanoramaProductions.comFor your Sunday viewing pleasure from the brilliant Dan-O-Rama Productions. posted by David on 6/25/2006 07:06:00 PM | Link |
6/23/2006My Way of LifeLast night I hooked up with Nathan Allen of The House Theater and talked about really interesting Artistic Director stuff. I capitalize Artistic Director because its such a prestigious title... You should go see the latest House show, The Boy Detective Fails. It's a fascinating, sweet and quirky piece with some great acting and the usual wonderfully inventive House staging, and who doesn't love Jake Minton as a mad scientist? Nathan and I gabbed for quite a bit and when I got home I finished Christmas in Prison (Has a way of bringing me down), When I Flop Out and the opening number, Caged Dames. Brigitte Ditmars informed me I HAD to have an opening number and I guess I knew she was right but I hadn't come up with anything. When I finally heard the opening line in my head I knew the time was right to start writing it earlier this week and I have what hopefully will be the 'theme' song. The opening line?Calumet City, Illinois. One of the best names for a city-ever. More about that later. Did I mention I received a 'thanks, but no thanks' letter from the Chicago Department of Cultural Affairs regarding our Red Scare on Sunset submission for the Storefront Theater? Que sera, sera. posted by David on 6/23/2006 03:29:00 PM | Link |
6/22/2006My Way of LifeI wandered in into the gym last night and one of the female members was complaining about the heat. It was very hot last night but it's a gym. Women complain about the temperature frequently. It gets old. All of my girlfriends, all of the lady co-workers, all of the strangers on the street. You always see women fanning themselves. Why is that? I assume it's a hormonal issue. My advice to you ladies? Toughen up!posted by David on 6/22/2006 08:16:00 PM | Link |
6/21/2006My Way of LifeI was thinking a porno would be the next logical step.posted by David on 6/21/2006 10:54:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeLast night Scott Lamberty came over and we worked on a couple of songs for Caged Dames. It took a couple of hours so once again my hopes of ever seeing the inside of the gym were dashed to the big fat ground. It was nice to finally plunk something down on the piano. We worked on 'I Had a Mink' and 'Little Limping Rat', a touching ballad the main character sings to a disabled rodent.posted by David on 6/21/2006 05:56:00 PM | Link |
6/20/2006RIP Vincent ShermanVincent Sherman was an old, old, old School PLAYA'... He had a tempestuous affairs with Joan and Bette and directed what many consider to be the quintessential Crawford film, 'The Damned Don't Cry' where she plays every role she's ever done in one film. It's a sheer delight and Charles Busch's favorite Joan film. posted by David on 6/20/2006 07:54:00 PM | Link |
My Way of Life- Integration NOW!Segregation never! I just posted how, of course, Hollywood wouldn't cast an actual transgendered person in a transgendered role, which is not big surprise considering it's Hollywood. What is sort of a surprise is the Pridefest which is billed as a celebration of the GLBT community (at least that's what it's billed as), and contains NO GLBT performers. Please let the powers that be know you think this rather silly by clicking on this link and signing your name. Thank you. The online petition was sent to me by Gary of Flesh Hungry Dog! posted by David on 6/20/2006 03:08:00 PM | Link |
6/19/2006My Way of Life- TransamericaLast night I finally saw Transamerica thanks to Ed Jones who gave it to me for my birthday. The cover is rather insulting. It's a 3D image that shows Felicity Huffman in character as Sabrina, the male to female pre-op transsexual and then reveals that she is indeed REALLY a beautiful television star. I don't blame Ms. Huffman for this, I'm sure the idiot marketing people, who could give a rats ass about the small transgendered community's feelings, thought this would be a way to sell the DVD to Desperate Housewives fans. The film itself dragged a bit and really could have been better, writing wise. The stars Felicity Huffman and Kevin Zegers did carry the film and were quite engaging but I couldn't get over how much Felicity Huffman reminded me of Fred Gwynne as Herman Munster with her twitchy mannerisms, speech and prim demeanor. She used this in the scenes that were meant to be funny but for me, at least, it became a bit of a distraction as I expected her to stomp and the floor any minute and yell , 'Darn! Darn! Darn! Darn!'. It's no secret that Chicago gal Alexandra Billings was originally slated for this part and I couldn't help but wonder what she thought of the film or how she would have played it. Alex ended up getting the shaft after Felicity signed on because of course why would you get a transgendered person to play a transgendered person in Hollywood? That would be ridiculous...right? posted by David on 6/19/2006 04:40:00 PM | Link |
Traveling Through...Felicity Huffman stars in Transamerica posted by David on 6/19/2006 04:39:00 PM | Link |
6/18/2006My Way of Life- Thank YOUThanks for stopping by and helping top make our first ever Handbag Yard Sale a success! We raised cash to help buy guard uniforms and bread and water for Caged Dames this fall and was great to meet some of the Blog readers and Handbag fans. A big thanks to the Tims for hosting and initiating the sale and to all of the aHandbaggers and FOH (Friends of Handbag) that volunteered and donated items. A special thanks to Ed Jones for slamming my hand into a gate while we carried out Josh Campbells former chest of drawers out of Brannen's house. When I screamed, Ed asked if I was hurt. When I said yes, he said, 'I thought so, I pushed it pretty hard'.posted by David on 6/18/2006 04:41:00 PM | Link |
6/16/2006Hell in a Handbag Yard Sale- One more time... Please join us this Saturday, June 10 at 9:30 Sharp posted by David on 6/16/2006 06:11:00 PM | Link |
My Way of Life- The World's Most Beautiful Dry CleanerI stole this image off of BC's My Space page. Compliments of Merrie Greenfield. It made me laugh. Why? It's one of those 'you had to be there' moments but I will try to explain. Back in the good old days when we did shows at the Theater Building I would drive BC, Merrie and anybody I could fit in my car home. We would go down Racine Ave. and pass a dry cleaner near Addison. There's an illustration of a beautiful woman sewing who looks remarkably like Catherine Deneuve. When I noticed this we all started spouting what we imagined were common dry cleaner phrases in our best Catherine Deneuve imitation. Try it. It's funny. posted by David on 6/16/2006 05:06:00 PM | Link |
6/15/2006My Way of LifeSo my birthday prezzies are rolling in all week. Tuesday I had a wonderful intimate dinner with Christopher BC, and Ludwig at Magnolia and got a Warhol Marilyn shoulder bag and a receipt from Chris proving that he had attempted to purchase an IPOD for me. He bought the wrong one but I was so glad to know I'm about to step into the new millenium. Bridg got me the special edition of the Valley of the Dolls DVD which I can't wait to see and my parents sent me their first 'humorous' card. My mother was proud that she sent me a 'funny' card since I'm funny. She even wrote little comments in it.posted by David on 6/15/2006 06:26:00 PM | Link |
My Way of Life- The CountdownPlease do me a favor and vote for the one of the best bands I've heard in a long time, The Countdown. This is for a Lollapalooza gig. They're really cool and you can say you voted for them beofre they hit it big... posted by David on 6/15/2006 03:58:00 PM | Link |
6/14/2006My Way of Life- Country GirlThis weekend I was smack dab in the middle of Missouri near Columbia visiting my pal Cara, designer extraodinairre. I actually drove there. I've never driven that far in my life and it was a bit of a challenge for me. I made sure Betty was in good shape, bought a couple of quart of oil, water and a six pack of lipsticks and I was on my way down 55 to St. Louis. People in the country drive fast. Really fast. Like, 'I looked at me speedometer and I was going 90 and I didn't even notice' fast. I stopped at a couple of rest stops and convenience store and nobody gave me a hard time or was mean to me, which was nice but also kind of a letdown. You see, all of my life I've been pointed at because of my appearance and now I fear I'm fading into normalcy which I don't usually mind. Except for when I want attention. posted by David on 6/14/2006 05:17:00 PM | Link |
6/13/2006My Way of Life- Work with usHell in a Handbag Productions is seeking a director for their fall show, Caged Dames, a new women-in-prison musical comedy/parody by David Cerda opening between mid-September to mid-October. Interested applicants should be familiar with the Handbag style and a knowledge and appreciation of parody, camp and classic Hollywood films. Submit your resume with a letter to info@handbagproductions.org to schedule an appointment.posted by David on 6/13/2006 10:27:00 PM | Link |
My Way of Life- Aging Gracefully...So yes, the rumors you heard are true. Chris: If your career's in trouble, it has nothing to do with Hickson! posted by David on 6/13/2006 04:55:00 PM | Link |
6/10/2006My Way of Life- Yard Sale PostponedStupid rain. Mother nature says no. The yard sale is now next Saturday. More details to come.posted by David on 6/10/2006 05:02:00 PM | Link |
6/09/2006My Way of LifeSo we're getting ready for the Handbag Yard Sale this Saturday. I've got to dig through our multiple storage niches we've created throughout the house to see exactly what I can donate. So far I have a LOT of videos and some cute toys. Good videos too, not crap! Thanks to the miracle of DVD I'm parting with some of my Joan collection and John Waters films as well. About 50 in total. People still watch videos, right?Last night I got some quality Caged Dames writing in and I finished a song for Caged Dames called BIGGER. To be sung by who else, but Bigger Lorraine, syndicate queen and arch nemesis of Big Lorraine. After I help set up the Handbag Yard sale I'm driving to Misssouri to visit my friend Cara, so if I get into a horrible accident, or murdered or decide not to come back it is my wish that Handbag produce Caged Dames without me and that Stella Steven play the role of Warden Hope. posted by David on 6/09/2006 07:16:00 PM | Link |
Being Normal...This is also the last 2 days to see Merrie Greenfield in Invasion of the Minnesota Normals. She's quite good in it, which is no surprise and she sports a fabulous 50's cocktail dress and Norma Shearer hairdo. posted by David on 6/09/2006 05:14:00 PM | Link |
My Way of Life- ASSASSINSCatch Handbagger Brigitte Ditmars as Emma Goldman this week in the Open Eye Production of ASSASSINS (Where's Ann Coultier when you need her?). You'd better hurry, they are almost sold out. Call 312/742-8497. Brig said they sold out yesterday, so seriously, you'd better call. posted by David on 6/09/2006 05:10:00 PM | Link |
One man's trash...the Handbag Yard Sale Please join us this Saturday, June 10 at 9:30 Sharp posted by David on 6/09/2006 05:21:00 AM | Link |
6/08/2006My Way of Life-HANDBAG YARD SALEPlease join us this Saturday, June 10 at 9:30 Sharpfor Hell in a Handbag's BIG, BIG, BIG Yard Sale to benefit Hell in a Handbag Productions located at The House of TIMS at 1350 W. Winnemac 3 blocks south of Foster and a few doors EAST of Glenwood in beautiful Andersonville Thrill to the amazing treasures and gasp when you see the tremendous bargains. All proceeds will go to Hell in a Handbag Productions to help produce our 2006 season. Caged Dames, and Rudolph the Red-Hosed Reindeer 2006! posted by David on 6/08/2006 09:15:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeUm... the horrible thing about this silly, 'Aren't I shocking and telling it like it is' bottom feeder is that I'm not really surprised by these statements. I fear there will no longer be any need for parody because everybody seems to be a parody of themselves anymore.posted by David on 6/08/2006 03:01:00 PM | Link |
6/05/2006My Way of Life- Camp SandwichFriday nights The Lady in Question benefit screening was a sheer delight for all involved. Myself and Handbaggers Steve Hickson, Ed Jones, Tina Haglund and Chris were there to cheer on and support one of my inspirations and mentors, Charles Busch for a screening of 'The Lady in Question is Charles Busch', a documentary of said Diva. I deliberately avoided opportunities to see this earlier so I could see it with fresh eyes that night and I'm still processing the contents of the film. The film is like Charles- funny, truthful and very touching. There was so much I associated with myself and Hell in a Handbag because his original theater company, Theater in Limbo played a major role in the film. As they talked about peeing in cups backstage during Vampire Lesbians of Sodom I thought of myself in climbing up and down a cellar door outdoors in the rain wearing a bra, heels and panties sometimes surprising the bums passing through during the original sCARRIE The Musical with Sweetback Productions. The trials and tribulations of small outsider theater and watching the ensemble grow and leave the nest got me all misty eyed. Of course Charles expanded on some of the stories later, after the screening when he and the Handbag gang (along with Richard Knight) went for dessert and cocktails. I had black coffee and Lobster Newberg...We sat together why Charles kept us laughing with greatest stories. I think my favorite part of the evening was being able to share my friendship with Charles with my friends. A tongue tied Ed Jones- priceless. posted by David on 6/05/2006 05:34:00 PM | Link |
6/02/2006My Way of LifeNot much to post today. Tonight is Charles Busch and tomorrow is Blondie for their 'farewell' tour. Blondie farewell tour? Yes. Why aren't I sad? Well, they've had a great run since reforming and quite frankly the fact that they're doing an abbreviated set list and touring with The New Cars at Ravinia of all places smacks of indifference to some of the hardcore fans, and yes there are still plenty of hardcore Blondie fans. Some of them are under 30 as well. So, I'm ready to move on and hopefully Deborah will be a bit more passionate about her future musical projects which I will always support until the day she or I die.posted by David on 6/02/2006 07:46:00 PM | Link |
6/01/2006My Way of LifeEmbarrassing way to die #47posted by David on 6/01/2006 09:48:00 PM | Link |
My Way of Life- When a Stella Calls...So I check my voice mail on my cell phone and I hear a familiar voice. 'Hi David, this is Stella Stevens calling , and we're here at a party in Hollywood and we're talking about YOU'. At this point I expect Ed Jones or Steve Hickson to cut in with, 'Yeah, and we all agreed you're an asshole!', but no, it's really Stella Stevens. My friend Kevin in California sent me a picture of him with her at the party Stella called from and Kevin got Mrs. Linda Rogo to call me. I was at the gym, which might be a blessing in disguise as I probably would have scared her. posted by David on 6/01/2006 05:07:00 PM | Link |
My Way of LifeGod, I had to spend money on Betty, my Beetle and it killed me. On the plus side it's the first repair in quite some time. The air conditioning went kaput and after this past weekend had to fix it because Princess Christopher will be driving my car and we can't have him driving in the heat! I'm so good I even cleaned the car for him.I'm slowly working on Caged Dames rewrites, trying to sharpen up the characters and I'm making decent progress. The search for a space and producer is always a slow process but since its rather late in the game to look for a fall primetime space its all the more frustrating. Maybe not as frustrating as the lackluster response or lack of response from whoever is the HIAH ensemble these days, or perhaps it's my perceived lack of response. I'm the kind of guy who expects an answer and well, I'm impatient sometimes, but really, what's the point of having a theater company if you're not going to do a show? tomorrow will be fun as we are going to see one of my Heroes, Charles Busch for a screening and meet and greet as part of a benefit celebrating Reeling: The 25th Anniversary of the Chicago Film Festival. I know Ed Jones and Tina Haglund will be there and hopefully others. I've had the good fortune to befriend Charles and it will be good to see him. Although he's a stage legend many people know him from film versions of two of his plays. Psycho Beach Party and Die, Mommie, Die. The latter is my favorite because it's just more suited for the screen since it's a tribute to the sudsy melodramas so many of the Hollywood Movie Queens made when they hit 40+. I highly recommend Die ,Mommie, Die. Since I don't want to be a critic you'll just have to trust me when I recommend something. Don't question me. posted by David on 6/01/2006 04:21:00 PM | Link |
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