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Handblog Archives

10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
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02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007

And also...

David interviews Margaret Cho

read the handblog...

12/30/2004

My Way of Life

Vacation has me working more then if I had been at work. Lots of fun and exciting happenings for you Handbag devotees to look forward to. First, our big New Years Eve bash is tomorrow. Rudolph is SOLD OUT tonight (again) , but as far as I know we still have room tomorrow. Second, is SCARRIE, The Musical this Spring- rewrites are coming uh, any minute. Third- well if I told you everything you wouldn't have any surprises to look forward to...,

My sister in law and nephew are visiting from Orange County- this is a good thing- they're really fun, and Randall Stevens the director POSEIDON! An Upside Down Musical is in town too, so we're going to have plenty of fun. Speaking of POSEDION! , let's all give 3 cheers to our original Robin Shelby, Joshua Campbell who has been cast as the fiance ' in Mamma Mia! He gets to sing one of my favorite ABBA songs, 'Lay All Your Love On Me'. Did I mention it's at the Mandalay Bay hotel in LAS VEGAS???? Anybody who knows Joshua certainly isn't surprised. He truly is one of the most talented , sweetest kids around, and I knew he was going places from the get go. I attended his farewell party last night and he promised to keep us all updated on his Vegas adventures. He will be missed.

posted by David on 12/30/2004 05:16:00 PM | Link |

 

12/29/2004


See you there..., Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/29/2004 07:32:00 AM | Link |

 

12/27/2004

My Way of Life

The Poseidon Adventure, for real. 22,000 dead, MILLIONS homeless. You might want to take that ten bucks Aunt Edna gave you for Christmas or Chanukah and contribute it to the Red Cross International Response Fund.

posted by David on 12/27/2004 10:21:00 PM | Link |

 

12/26/2004

My Way of Christmas Life


Santa was very generous to me this year. Ann-Margret, fancy underwear- Versace , pronounced Ver-SASE ( I have an underwear fetish), Nioxin for my hair (which is my fortune), a Ralphie keychain, Best Buy card, Gowns by Adrian book featuring Joan Crawford, Neiman Marcus business card holder. Diesel watch, cool Hollywood swimwear book, Jayne Mansfield, Wild At Heart special edition DVD, Strangers with Candy DVD set, a Beetle book, a ruby CK sweater, Armani sweater, a DVD where girls are kidnapped and forced to dance lewdly for their captors, a beautiful Mick Rock Debbie Harry/Blondie book. Legally Blonde CD, a wonderful group of friends..., I'm the luckiest guy in the world. Merry Christmas all! Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/26/2004 08:55:00 AM | Link |

 


My sister surprised me with the Mick Rock Debbie Harry book. Some of the most gorgeous pictures of Debbie EVER. I'm doing my Debbie lips thing. Isn't it HOT? Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/26/2004 08:08:00 AM | Link |

 


Uncle Chris and a bewildered Gia- no she's not named after the Tragedy of a Supermodel Gia..., Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/26/2004 08:05:00 AM | Link |

 


I'm DYING to do my nieces hair. Pink scrunchies!!! Ugh! Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/26/2004 08:04:00 AM | Link |

 


I usually don't do this but here's a pic of Uncle David and Princess Jillian Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/26/2004 08:02:00 AM | Link |

 

12/25/2004


A little something to creep you out this Christmas . Jeez, he could have washed the soles of his feet..., Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/25/2004 09:07:00 AM | Link |

 

12/24/2004

My Way of Life


It's after 2am. I've come home from another sold out show of Rudolph the Red-Hosed Reindeer. The crowd was a bit..., mainstream...and they loved it. Am I selling out? I hope so$$$

Alissa and Al Spera had a fantastic cast party for us tonight at their fabulous condo on Ohio and LSD. Al plays Fireball (My son- I had him at a very young age) and the Charlie in the Box. Not only is he a sweetheart but pretty damn handsome. His wife is a hottie too- not that any of that matters..., and they're both a joy to be around. What a spread...they had for us. These are my tired eyelash glued eyes. The heavy make up takes it's toll and no matter how hard I scrub it never seems to come off, making me look like some haggard trannie when I stop for a treat at the 7/11 on my way home. Heavy make-up is like childhood pain. Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/24/2004 09:07:00 AM | Link |

 

12/23/2004

RUDOLPH THE RED-HOSED REINDEER, 2004


The first lady of Christmas has needs too! Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/23/2004 01:11:00 AM | Link |

 


Gee, another picture of Zach, who plays Score, the not-so- bright elf. I must have forgot I'd already taken 11,278 photos. Zach is most comfortable next to the trash. Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/23/2004 12:59:00 AM | Link |

 


Melissa Pond as Clarice taken captive by the abominable Drag Beast. Yes, we've corrupted another one. Mormon girl gone BAD. Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/23/2004 12:57:00 AM | Link |

 


Sometimes we get bored backstage..., Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/23/2004 12:57:00 AM | Link |

 


Gladys Dasher and Tom Donner caught in the act! Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/23/2004 12:55:00 AM | Link |

 


Ed Jones starts putting on his make-up at 7am. Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/23/2004 12:54:00 AM | Link |

 


Gladys gone WILD! Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/23/2004 12:53:00 AM | Link |

 


Mike Miller as a package of liver flavored condoms. His mother and father must be so proud!  Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/23/2004 12:53:00 AM | Link |

 


Troy's butt should have it's own bio in the program. As you can see, Tim Howard is unimpressed.Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/23/2004 12:51:00 AM | Link |

 


Tim Howard as trailer trash Barbie, at least I think this is his costume...,  Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/23/2004 12:50:00 AM | Link |

 


Trish as Contraceptive Sponge Babs Square Pants - Yeah, I don't know why we're not getting Jeff nominated either..., Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/23/2004 12:49:00 AM | Link |

 


Zach is always lounging around in his panties backstage...what a burden... Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/23/2004 12:47:00 AM | Link |

 

12/16/2004

My Way of Life

Feeling bored and evil? Why not assume a voluptuous Christian lady identity in this Christian chat room?

How can you argue with this testimonial?: I cannot thank you enough for your Chat & Friendship site and want to encourage others to hang in there, pray hard and believe that God is able to use any means possible to bring two people together. A wonderful godly woman from South Carolina and I have made plans to marry later this summer. --Wayne from USA

Shouldn't 'godly' be capitalized? Sorry, Wayne, you're going to hell...,

posted by David on 12/16/2004 09:58:00 PM | Link |

 

12/14/2004

My Pink Way of Life

BOO! From Jayne


My Tree, 2004

Jayne Mansfield, my muse came to me in a dream and said "Oh, David, your holiday is should be be PINK. If only the world had a pink holiday, maybe there'd be no more wars". 'What about the evil threat Iraq poses?' I said in awe of the ghost with the most heavenly body ever. 'You big silly', Jayne smiled, "Did you think he'd get elected on his actual knowledge of the government or the real world? Osama Bin Laden is actually Abe Vigoda, TV's 'Fish' from Barney Miller. Now get busy and pinkatize this house!' Posted by Hello

posted by David on 12/14/2004 08:11:00 AM | Link |

 

12/13/2004

My Way of Life

Rudy's packing them in. Seven years of this and we seem to be enjoying some sort of resurgence. I was thinking of not even doing the show this year, but after we got the space in the Loop how could I resist? When Ron Kelly volunteered to produce the show, we were set. The Sun Times review might have helped a little. This was the first time the Chicago Sun Times has ever reviewed Rudolph and I have to say it was nice to get some recognition, particularly a glowing review like that. The Sedaris comparison was nice. Yeah, I think Rudolph could be playing in cities all over the country, and no, I don't think it's a bad thing to say it in print. It ain't bragging when it's a fact, baby...,You have to know when you've got a good thing and I'm really proud of Rudolph and the entire ensemble for staying as committed to the show as they have. Steve Hickson has been Ruth Claus for 7 years now and he still makes me laugh. I've seen some of the so-called holiday staples, that our regularly done year after year, and I have to admit I just don't get it sometimes. I also don't' understand why some of the press chooses to not review a local show that has been playing for 7 years. That's so wrong on so many levels. But that's another Blog.

Of course all has not been peaches and cream, but really, since I don't like peaches anyway that's irrelevant. We were sold out Friday and Saturday and came damn near close Thursday. I think it was Saturday we found out the sound cue board blew, and we nearly lost all of our sound cues, or light cues or whatever. I think I mentioned in an earlier posts that the Loop Theater is not the most technically advanced theater. I think perhaps the Superstar Barbie Karaoke playset is a little more advanced then the sound system at this place. It's NOT musical theater friendly, even with Lori Lee's company's awesome speakers. Andy , our highly adorable sound and light operator dude (I think he's single-I'll double check), has been a Godsend. I think he's Handbag material. At least his smooth kid leather like skin is..., We're having a blast but I would be lying if I said all was paradise. There have been a few squabbles here and there. Of course I'm only at liberty to confirm the ones that I was involved in, which was a kind of stupid one, but aren't they all?

posted by David on 12/13/2004 05:05:00 PM | Link |

 

12/08/2004

My Way of Life

Thank Christ the beloved, whacky rapster Ol' Dirty Bastard's LEGACY will live on. Now, if we could only get Cherry and Icelene to remember it's all about the music, man...,

posted by David on 12/08/2004 03:47:00 PM | Link |

 

12/07/2004

My Way of Life

Betty's in the shop so I stayed home last night and while Chris was out I took out my white Jayne Mansfield Christmas tree and set it up and plan to Christmastize the house Friday. I didn't want to lug all of the crap out yesterday and just leave it laying on the on the dining room floor. I had disappointing news via Ebay- my special Reindeer Mountain that I ordered never came so it looks I'm back to constructing one on my own this year? What is Reindeer Mountain you ask? That's where all of Santa's reindeers go to frolic in-between reindeer practice, as if you had to ask. So what was I saying? Oh! I unintentionally made cajun chicken because I got so involved in watching Trading Spouses while I was setting up the tree. This time they took what looks like a middle class urban women (with this scary ghetto looking daughter) and traded her with this hippy Taoist mom with a husband that spouts some pretty silly new age bullshit- but the creepy thing is, and the visiting foul mouthed mom hit the nail on the head here- is that the father reminded me of some sort of cult leader. She thinks he's brainwashed his family, and so do I. It's pretty obvious what he says goes- and he has two mealy teenage sons that agree with everything he says- which is just not right if you're a teenager. Okay, like, the father wants the family to learn Chinese because he thinks the Chinese are going to take over the world in 50 years. Huh? Plus, they don't wear shoes, and there feet are really dirty, and they sing bluegrass in the street for money, but they have a house and a car. CREEPY.

posted by David on 12/07/2004 08:58:00 PM | Link |

 

12/06/2004

My Way of Life

I'm baaaack. Back from the heartland of America. Omaha, NE, location of the first outside production of POSEIDON! An Upside Down Musical. I have to admit I tried not get too excited about all of this because I hate to be disappointed and I have this built in monitor where I try to control my expectations level, particularly with theater related business because I've been burned before before, so I went to Omaha cautiously optimistic...sort of.

6am- 12/04/04- Wake up. God, I'm tired. Just a few hours earlier I was prancing around the stage in Rudolph the Red-Hosed Reindeer and as I look in the mirror I see my face is none to happy with all of the make-up I've been putting on it. Wonderful..., My check engine light went on yesterday while Chris borrowed my car because HIS check engine light went on the day before, so we had to take a taxi to the airport. Okay...,

8:15am- We board the plane.

9:00am- We unboard the plane. Or, as they call it, de-plane. As the pilot said it I said a silent prayer for Herve Villachaise. The pilot explains that something that's supposed to help fly the plane isn't working. It will either be fixed or we will get a new plane. I decide Chris is cursed.

10:30am- I hear voices- Yourex, Yourex. I awake and hear the United clerk saying Chris's last name over the intercom. Chris went to get Starbucks, I fell asleep. We are the last to board the new plane.

11:45am- We're in Omaha! The shuttle picks us up, and the driver asks us where we're from, why we're here. We mention Poseidon! and the driver asks us if we know Randall Stevens (the director of Poseidon!). One minute later, Christopher, my #1 fan, casually mentions the fact that I wrote the show...,

1pm- I'm sitting with Randall, and Omaha Nonnie, Lindsay Lashier, eating lunch. I feel better. My hunch about Randall was right. I like him immediately. Randall contacted me about the show last year (I think) and up to then it was just e-mail and phone conversations. He's warm, funny, cute and dresses nice. Omaha Nonnie is adorable, and the weird thing is she looks a hell of a lot like Carol Lynley. Well, more of a cross between Carol Lynley and Kirsten Dunst. Omaha Robin Shelby, Cody Enicke joins us a little later. Like Chicago Robin, Joshua Campbell, he's 21, but looks younger. I later find out his mother is younger then me..., Randall shows me the Omaha Reader review. It's very good.

3:30pm- NAP TIME

6:30PM- Chris and I are sitting at a French bistro with Randall and 2 of his friends- 2 girls. The guy sitting next to us chair collapses. He is not fat. The Chris curse...,

7:10- We're all at the Blue Barn Theater. I see the poster, our poster, but with different faces on it. Weird. We meet our friend Sheila, who lives in Omaha. She brings her mom, Elaine, who is a hoot. I meet Hughston Walkinshaw and Susan Clement-Toberer, the big cheeses at Blue Barn theater. Did I mention that any pre-conceived notions about Omaha I had we're tossed to the wayside after I met Randall and Omaha Nonnie and Robin? There were no cows wandering the streets that I saw. The area of the city we were in was very cool, and people were friendly. The guys in Omaha are pretty attractive as well. Hughston was no exception, and Susan was very hip and happening herself. I'm feeling much better.

7:45pm- I've been sitting in the darkened theater watching other people do the show we at Handbag had devoted over a year of our lives to and I'm laughing and smiling. I can tell already why the show has received the wonderful notices it has. The cast 1000% committed, they look like they're have a ball up there, the energy is contagious, and the audience is loving it.

9:25pm- Wow. Randall really has impressed me with his direction. He did some really wonderful and clever things with the show and really incorporated the 'Poseidonite' scenes with the film scenes in some ways that actually flows better then our version did.

9:35pm- Hughston has introduced me to the sell out crowd and I'm standing in my hot pink ruffled tuxedo shirt grinning like an idiot doing my best 'crowd wave'. Before you know I'm on the stage taking pictures and giving congratulatory hugs to the Omaha Poseidon cast. Dare I say this was magical moment?

10:45pm- We're at Qwest Center at Night of 1000 Stars. The 'star' is KC and the Sunshine Band. They were fun, very much a glorified party bar band. I couldn't help but wonder if 53 year old Harry Wayne Casey, the 'KC' of KC and the Sunshine Band had been a woman, the press would have a field day on how bloated and generally unhealthy he looked. Too many disco nights? Everybody is there. Joy, the Omaha 'Indian Lady' (who by the way, is really Indian) , is wild and gorgeous.

1:00am 12/05/04- Hugs and kisses. We bid farewell to our new Omaha friends/Poseidonites and sleep.

We spent Sunday morning brunching with our friend, Sheila and her adorable kids Tatum and Jeff. Afterwards we were able to get an earlier flight home to Chicago. It's funny how many of straight men of Omaha look like they belong in leather bars wearing skin tight jeans, boots and cowboy hats, or sporting the bear look with beards, beer bellies and flannel shirts.

I went to a get a donut while I waited I waited for the plane and there were 2 heavyset women in their 50's behind the counter. One was wearing antlers and she was telling the other one about when she and her husband started dating when her walkie/talkie phone interrupted her.

'What do you want?' she snapped. She listened and said. 'No, because we have... NOT HAD A BREAK YET!!!' The other woman watched intently with a supportive sneer. I said 'thank you' and slowly walked away trying to hear as much as I could. I live for crap like this. She was Rosanne Connor, if she stayed at Rodbells.











posted by David on 12/06/2004 04:05:00 PM | Link |

 

12/03/2004

My Way of Life

Greetings all. Rudolph opened last night to a pretty full house with many Handbag friends and supporters and it went well. There's are still a few kinks to iron out due to the ancient sound system. The Loop Theater isn't really equipped to handle a musical, but we're making due with the resources we have. I have traces of eye makeup and glitter which never seems to fully come off no matter how hard I scrub. Tomorrow I'm off to OMAHA to see POSEIDON! An Upside-Down Musical at the Blue Barn theater, and I'm very excited to see their take on it. It sounds like Randall Stevens, the director really did a good job and they've been getting really good reviews, so we shall see, shan't we?

Holiday gift ideas? How about this?


posted by David on 12/03/2004 05:38:00 PM | Link |

 

12/02/2004

My Way of Life

Oh come on..., it should count if her partner looks like a guy...,

posted by David on 12/02/2004 10:29:00 PM | Link |

 

My Way of Life

His mother must be so proud of him...,

posted by David on 12/02/2004 10:22:00 PM | Link |

 

My Way of Life

With all of the running around for Rudolph I've been doing I've gone into FRAZZLE mode. It's not a pretty state of mind for me. It's the kind of mode where you check for something 23 times looking in the same place all those times and find it on the 24th time. My mind literally gets like that commercial for yet another prescription drug they're trying to cram down the public's throat- the one where the channels are changing constantly. I usually find this exhilarating when I'm creating something but not when I'm looking for a f*cking wig, that was in the first place I originally looked!

So tonight I officially hope to let it go and enjoy the ride, because besides that 'mental problem thing', we're really having fun.

Rudolph, the Red-Hosed Reindeer
At the Loop Theater, 8 E. Randolph Street, Chicago. For reservations call (312) 744-5667 or visit TICKETWEB and buy tickets NOW, dammit!

posted by David on 12/02/2004 09:09:00 PM | Link |

 

12/01/2004

My Way of Life

We're big in Omaha...,

Don't you hate it when people use their Blogs as self serving fodder for their already fragile egos? Me too. By the way, here's the first POSEIDON! An Upside Down Musical review in Omaha, NE

Don't forget Rudolph, the Red-Hosed Reindeer opens tomorrow! For anybody that cares, I will be absent from the Dec. 4 show (Saturday) but taking my place will be the fabulous, Ludwig. You know he's fabulous when he only goes by one name. Like Lassie...,

posted by David on 12/01/2004 09:18:00 PM | Link |

 

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