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And also...

David interviews Margaret Cho

read the handblog...

8/29/2005

My LA Way of Life

Quick hello to you all. I'm in southern Cali and I saw the The Spyants production of The Birds last night. It was strange seeing somebody take what you've had ingrained in your mind for so long and see their take on it. They did a wonderful job and the company is works well together. They're also pretty cool. LA Tippi, Lori Evans is a doll, and I have new pal in LA Lydia, Eric Bunton. Everybody was wonderful, and I will name more names later. I know how my fans worry, so I wanted to let you know that everything is hunky dory.

SAVE Oct. 25! Hell in a Handbag's annual benefit. It'll be GRAND....,

posted by David on 8/29/2005 07:38:00 AM | Link |

 

8/25/2005

My Way of Life

If you TRULY loved me, you would buy me these shoes.

posted by David on 8/25/2005 09:12:00 PM | Link |

 

My Way of Life


Our very own Michael Kingston and Merrie Greenfield in the New York Times for The Last Two Minutes of the Complete Works of Henrik Ibsen- photo by Dixie Sheridan Posted by Picasa

posted by David on 8/25/2005 04:20:00 AM | Link |

 

8/24/2005

My Way of Life

PRINICIPAL MORTON AND MRS. SNELL IN THE NEW YORK FRIGGIN' TIMES!

Can we pick good actors or what ?

Congrats to Merrie and Michael!!!!

posted by David on 8/24/2005 06:09:00 PM | Link |

 

My Way of Life

File under ewwww!!!! How come whenever I happen to turn the television on Tommy Lee Goes Back to College is on?

This show is...super fake, dumb, and just plain BAD. The most pathetic part of it is that Tommy Lee, who is supposedly 43, looks like some gross, dirty old man walking around in ridiculously inappropriate 'rock' clothing. His faded tattooed body makes him look like a carny fallen on hard times, and it's just uncomfortable watching him grin and wink his way through the obviously staged scenes.

People tell me they have a hard time watching 'The Comeback' because it's sad, and the Lisa Kudrow as Valerie Cherish is so needy and rather pathetic. She's acting. So is Tommy Lee , but this is much more pathetic, because even though it's staged, he constantly talks about his Motley Crue days, and is looking for reassurance from everyone around him that's he's 'cool' and with it . Yeah, that band will go down in the rock history books.
Take it from me, I know all about these type of people because I have this uh.., friend...that does the same thing sometimes.

Let's face it, when you're biggest claim to fame is your big dick and beating your wife (and giving her hepatitis), what could this hurt?

posted by David on 8/24/2005 05:04:00 PM | Link |

 

8/23/2005

My Way of Life

He's STILL better then Billy Joel...,

posted by David on 8/23/2005 07:08:00 PM | Link |

 

My Way of Life

Last night Brigitte, Derek and Timmy H. came over and we sifted through the pile of scripts we had to select the lucky group to use in our Twilight Gallery show. We had fun reading, eating, and watching some Night Gallery episodes; and eating. We've chosen the episodes but it would be in poor taste to post it here before the actual writers knew so I shall refrain. We were missing two members of our Artistic Committee because they are in NYC for the Fringe Festival.

See them! I highly recommend them!

Merrie Greenfield is in

The Last Two Minutes of The Complete Works of Henrik Ibsen
The Neo-FuturistsWriter:Henrik Ibsen, Devised, Written, and Adapted by Greg Allen
Director: Greg Allen
Masters of "30 Plays in 60 Minutes", Chicago’s Neo-Futurists take all 26 preposterous Ibsen climaxes and slam them together.

"Rarely less than inspired" – Chicago Sun-Times.

Directed by "Too Much Light Makes The Baby Go Blind" creator and two-time FringeNYC award-winner.
2h 0m
Ace of Clubs
Mon 22 @ 06:45pWed 24 @ 07:45pThu 25 @ 07:45pFri 26 @ 04:00pSat 27 @ 12:00p

See Ed Jones in:

Little House on the ParodySingle Box Turn Productions
Writer:by Becky Eldridge and Amy Petersen,
Music and Lyrics by Andy Eninger
Director: Directed by Andy Eninger
Choreographer: Erica Reid

Campy, loving homage to the “Little House” TV show and books. Will Laura stay goodhearted as sisters go blind, Pa gets lost in blizzards, grasshoppers devour crops and nasty Nellie Oleson attacks?
“Pitch-perfect performances,” Chicago Tribune,
“Gleefully wicked,” Chicago Reader.
1h 40m
Comedy Musical The Lucille Lortel Theater
Tues 23 @9:15p
Wed 24 @9:15p
Thurs 25 @6p
Sat 27 9:15p
Sun 28 2:30p



You should also check out:

A Lesbian in the Pantry

Fashionatrix in Association with the Cabinet Theatre
Writer:Book, Music and Lyrics by Joe Latessa
Director: Directed by Spike Kunetz, Musical Direction by Jeff Bouthiette

Someone's hiding a Sapphic secret friend! Originally produced in Chicago at Donny's Skybox of The Second City, this musical fable tells the quirky yet tragic story of the funny/dysfunctional relationship between mother, daughter and lesbian who lives in their pantry. 1h 0m National

Comedy Musical

The Players Theatre http://www.alesbianinthepantry.com/

Wed 24 @ 07:45pThu 25 @ 11:00pFri 26 @ 07:45pSat 27 @ 02:15pSun 28 @ 12:00p

And see fellow Blogger and pal Jere Williams in(I don't knowi f it's any good, but Jere will kill me if I don' mention it) :

The Importance of Marrying Wells
DRD Productions
Writer:by Dana Slamp
Director: Directed by Nancy S. Chu

Gavin's gay, but pretends to be married, while Jake's rich but pretends to be poor. Can they get the girl & guy while keeping their identities secret? The Importance of Being Earnest meets Manhattan, but marriage ain't so Earnest anymore. 1h 30m Local
Comedy The Lucille Lortel Theatre

www.whoiswells.com

posted by David on 8/23/2005 05:58:00 PM | Link |

 

8/22/2005

My Way of Life

Spent the weekend reading and writing and writing and reading. I'm part of the committee that is selecting scripts for our upcoming late night/mainstage show, 'The Twilight Gallery' , our parodage of Rod Serling's classic Twilight Zone/Night Gallery series. We have gotten quite a few submissions, and I have to say most of them are quite interesting. It was pretty obvious who took the time to look at our website and familiarize themselves with our mission statement/style and who didn't. I had a lot of fun writing my submissions, and I'm looking forward to starting the rehearsals and casting, and all that crap.

I managed to drag my ass to the gym yesterday (making it a 3 times in 7 days!) and while I'm making progress I still need to eat better, because I simply can't lift what I used to lift, and I know it's because I lost some weight during the summer, like 10 pounds, which isn't as wonderful as it sounds when you're 6'1" and weigh 165 pounds. My idea weight gaining program would be the donut diet but that doesn't seem to work. Sometimes I feel like my wrists are going to snap. I've got the wrists of a 12 year old girl, a hairy 12 year old girl.

Chris and I are going to Los Angeles this week to see his family and 'The Birds', written by myself and Pauline Pang. LA Weekly gave it a great review and they're turning away people and it looks like they're extending to a bigger house. Should I have business cards made up? Maybe I can get a writing gig on 'Reba'! Is this my moment? I don't know, and I'm taking it very cautiously, having already gone through this with POSEIDON! An Upside Down Musical. I did join the Dramatist Guild after I saw the contract for Judy's Scary Little Christmas, so we shall see.

*SIX FEET UNDER SPOILER

I spent the evening watching the series finale for Six Feet Under and, of course, The Comeback. I loved the finale for SFU, particularly how they made it clear there was to be NO sequels, by showing every main characters death. Sometimes I watch that show and wonder if they just put in things and pretend like they know why they put them in, but aren't really sure what they mean themselves.

The Comback was very funny. The show is definitely hitting it's stride. This particular episode focused on the fact that 'Room and Board' was nominated for The Peoples Choice Awards, the big joke being that Valerie was the only that seemed to care about them, because she 'won' one in her heyday. It was the only award she's won.

This morning, on my way to work I was listening to a Suzanne Somers audiobook, about her life, read by Suzanne Somers and she covered the seminal moment in her life; winning the Peoples Choice Award and how important that award was to her, because it was given to her by THE PEOPLE.

I love when shit like this happens.

posted by David on 8/22/2005 04:48:00 PM | Link |

 

8/18/2005

My LA Way of Life

Yippee! The Gull Can't Help It

Posted by Braggie McBragalot.

posted by David on 8/18/2005 09:31:00 PM | Link |

 

My LA Way of Life

You know how we have those websites in Chicago any schmuck on the street can deem himself a 'critic' and start writing reviews just so he or she can see shows free? Well, apparently they have the same thing in Los Angeles. It's a favorable review of 'The Birds', but God, the writing just made me cringe...,

posted by David on 8/18/2005 04:14:00 PM | Link |

 

8/17/2005

My Way of Life

This is for Trista and all the other Living Dolls fanatics out there. I have bad news. Some of you may have known that Swan Brooner's chain-smoking, drill seargent, but lovable mom, Robin, passed away a couple of years ago, which was a shame. I recently learned that Swan's father, who lived in Alaska and who got custody of Swan and Deven, her little brother recently died as well!

My heart really goes out to the kids. I've been checking out the HBO documentary message boards and you wouln't believe how mean people can be, I think message boards bring out the lowest of life forms. the kind of people that literally thrive on cutting somebody else down, just beacuse they have nothing else in their lives. Mind you, I'm not above cutting people down, but there is a proper way of doing it. Making fun of Anna Nicole Smith is one thing, but trashing a dead woman who left behind kids is another. That goes for you too, Christina Crawford, professional victim.

Many of those screen captures won't allow you to view an enlarged version of the photo becaue this shady Child Starlets site , which is really just a creepy excuse for pervs to look at little girls under the guise of 'This site is dedicated to all child actresses who have ever struggled to make it in Hollywood, from Shirley Temple of the 30's to the best of today. ' That's why they're charging money for pics they most likely don't have permission to post.

posted by David on 8/17/2005 08:36:00 PM | Link |

 

My Way of Life

While I was slaving away yesterday at work, Brigitte, Melissa, Alex, Tim and Derek were riding roller coasters at Six Flags Great America. Brigitte says Timmy and Derek screamed like little girls.

I'm 4/5 finished with my second Twilight Gallery submission, tentatively titled 'Come and Knock At My Door'. It's sort of taken on a life of it's own. For research I've been reading a Suzanne Somer's book of poetry and I have her audiobooks. I also finished watching 'Trilogy of Terror'' with the voluptuous Karen Black. It still holds up, and was quite creepy. I shouldn't really give the plot away but it promises to be fun.

posted by David on 8/17/2005 04:43:00 PM | Link |

 

8/16/2005

My Way of Life

DEBBIE UPDATE

Debbie:If you think I getting in that tank, you are out of your fucking mind!

posted by David on 8/16/2005 03:14:00 PM | Link |

 

8/15/2005

My Way of Life

Unfortunately, her hair wasn't 'saved'...,

posted by David on 8/15/2005 09:45:00 PM | Link |

 

My Way of Life

Hola Amigos. I hope your weekend was a pleasant one. I closed The Fillet of Solo show this weekend. Well, actually it was Friday and Saturday. Friday I sucked eggs. Seriously. A combination of a new Stage Manager and nerves. Not only did I wander all over the place with my monologue but I just couldn't think of anything witty or clever to say as I introduced the performers. It was painful.

Saturday was an entirely different story. Maybe I was energized because Chris and I spent the entire afternoon with my sister and her six children. We had yet another day in the park and then Uncle Chris had the bright idea to take six kids, ages 8 months to 7 years to McDonald's for lunch. The kids were actually pretty good, and the usual suspects were up to their old tricks. The second oldest ,Ethan loves to talk 'dirty'. His version of dirty is saying poop and pecker a lot. His older brother encourages him but is smart enough not to actually say it first and acts 'surprised' when he hears it, and repeats the word under the guise of telling me what Ethan just said. You see, I invented these tricks, so it's funny watching these kids do the same things I did with my brothers and sisters. There was a 5 years difference between me and the next kid, so the boys are much closer with each other then I am with my brother. While we were there, two lovely elderly ladies came up to us to tell us how adorable the children were. The kids are quite adorable. I could hear them talking from the other table trying to figure out who the parents were. They came to the conclusion that my sister and I were the mother and father but they couldn't quite place how 'the blonde one' figured into the mix. One of the women looked exactly like Steve Hickson in drag in his 70's. We had a nice chat about large families and they explained they had come from large families themselves. The elderly Steve Hickson impersonator came from a family of 8 kids and, the even older German accented woman came from a family of 10 kids- then she says casually, never losing her smile, 'But two of them died'. I replied, never losing my smile, 'Oh, I'm sorry about to hear that'. The kids were very polite to them as well, which made me a very proud Uncle. I will not tolerate disrespect for older people with children and my sister has instilled that respect in them.

I DID teach my niece to respond the proper way when asked 'Who's your most handsome Uncle?'. She immediately stated 'UNCLE DABID!' Smart Girl. So enough with the gushing.

Yesterday I made another trip to the Hell in a Handbag storage space to pack away all of the hideous 70's gowns, wigheads and choir robes, and hardware from SCARRIE-The Musical, then picked up cleaning supplies from Target. Target on a Sunday afternoon is cruiser then any bar I know of.

At 6 I attended a Stages show featuring POSEIDON! An Upside Down Musical's Brigitte Ditmars, Jen Connelly. It was called 'Ever After' and I sat with Timmy Howard. It needs work. Timmy P. joined us afterwards.

I hung out a teeny bit afterwards and talked to the actors. Rus Ranier was also in the show, playing a womanizing slimy doctor- he's always good. I met the charmingly dashing Eric Lindahl and Marc Pera (who was also in 'Ever After') and did a bit of schmoozing. Marc Pera liked my shirt.

I got home just in time to make quesadillas and watch my favorite TV show, the only one I actually make an effort to watch, 'The Comeback'. I can't tell you how much I love this show. I think Lisa Kudrow is a genius. Watch it.

posted by David on 8/15/2005 06:52:00 PM | Link |

 

8/11/2005

My LA Way of Life


Mitch and Melanie are excited because...,

The Birds is Critics Pick and Recommended in the new issueof LA Weekly!
Okay, now I'm pleased...,Posted by Picasa

posted by David on 8/11/2005 06:08:00 AM | Link |

 

8/10/2005

My Way of Life

People keep asking us when when are we going to to children's theater. Well, I think we've found our story!

posted by David on 8/10/2005 07:43:00 PM | Link |

 

My Way of Life

SCARRIE's over, and Monday I came home from work and just sat for two hours. What a joy that was. But, soon I found myself at the computer and I managed to finish off my first submission for our upcoming TWILIGHT GALLERY show. It's a parodage*of the 'EYES', the classic Steven Spielberg directed Night Gallery episode starring Joan Crawford in what I consider her best near final performance, being the Joanaphile I am. Sure, she comes across as brash, loud and over the top, but that's Rod Serling's dialogue. You can already see in this 1969 episode that this Steven Spielberg cat wasn't your average 'movie -of- the week' director and his inventive shots and camera angles are magnificent. It's rumored Joan had a little 'work' done before this, but refused to stop drinking during the healing process. She lets the camera come startlingly close to her and the light is pretty damn honest. Oh...guess who plays Joan? ME!


I'm glad Davis turned him down. Yes, you heard me right. The role was originally offered to Bette, who scoffed at being directed by an unknown, but Joan was hungry for work, as we know with her last film, Trog. It's rather sad, because she was a lonely woman who NEEDED to work. At least Davis became comfortable with turning into an old lady. Joan would have none of that, and she died when she needed to die.

Besides Twilight Gallery we are also gettting the wheels in gear for Judy's Scary Little Christmas, a gem of a show Tim Howard discovered from Los Angeles. So if you think you can do Judy that'll melt the hardest of hearts (fighting weight Judy,please), then keep your eyes peeled for the audition notices in the respective theater trade papers.

posted by David on 8/10/2005 05:33:00 AM | Link |

 

8/09/2005

My Way of Life- Ewwwww!!!!!

Next time you feel bad about being single perhaps this will make you feel worse.

posted by David on 8/09/2005 08:30:00 PM | Link |

 

8/08/2005

My Way of Life

This past weekend we bid a sad farewell to SCARRIE- The Musical. We had wonderful houses throughout the entire run. That along with an enthusiastic cast made the show a truly enjoyable experience once we got up and running. I think we all learned a lot from this production ( I know I certainly did) , and Hell in a Handbag has connected with some wonderful new blood as well. I'm going to miss seeing the cast on a regular basis.

Having attended almost every performance I have some ideas on changes or cuts and what worked and what didn't work. Feel free to share any of your thoughts with me at info@handbagproductions.org

SCARRIE-The Musical cast recording CD's should be available in about two weeks.

posted by David on 8/08/2005 06:52:00 PM | Link |

 

8/05/2005

My Way of Life

In the WHAT THE HELL? department.... Pat Robertson is shitting his pants. Speaking of Pat Robertson, have you ever wondered how he maintains his youthful good looks? Well apparently in addition to drinking the blood of young Christian virgins he has his own special anti-aging shake. I 'm not kidding! It's called Pat Robertson's Age-Defying Shake and here's how to make it.

posted by David on 8/05/2005 03:25:00 PM | Link |

 

8/04/2005

My Way Los Angeles Way of Life


We're trapped in a David Cerda show?

Here are some pictures of the Los Angeles cast of 'TheBirds' being presented by TheSpyants Theater Company. I took me about a year to realize that the name of their company was a play on words. Can YOU guess what it is? Posted by Picasa

posted by David on 8/04/2005 03:29:00 AM | Link |

 


What's the square root of 144? Posted by Picasa

posted by David on 8/04/2005 03:27:00 AM | Link |

 


How's your head? Posted by Picasa

posted by David on 8/04/2005 03:27:00 AM | Link |

 

8/03/2005

My Way of Life

Last night I saw a group of friends I hadn't seen in way too long. A few months, and it was freaky/weird, and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

Chris and I went to dinner (we haven't done that in a while) and later int he evening I worked on one of my Twilight Gallery submissions, 'Eyes'. I'm really looking forward to playing the part of Miss Claudia Menloathe...,

We're in the final stretch of SCARRIE-The Musical and I have to say if you haven't seen the show you yet then please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please come. You call the box office at 773/327-5252 right now or go here to purchase tickets online.

posted by David on 8/03/2005 07:20:00 PM | Link |

 

8/02/2005

My Way of Life

So, do you know anybody who's 'Jumped the couch'...? I do, but I can't put it in this Blog.

posted by David on 8/02/2005 06:27:00 PM | Link |

 

My New York Way of Life

I'm not sure WHY, Hilly Kristal doesn't have a boatload of money, but this is a worthwhile petition anyway. SAVE CBGB's !

posted by David on 8/02/2005 03:02:00 PM | Link |

 

My Way of Life

SCARRIE-The Musical in it's FINAL WEEK!

You won't want to miss the final week of SCARRIE The Musical, let me put it another way...,

GUEST CHAPERONE LIST-FINAL WEEK

Thursday- NATHAN ALLEN (everybody's favorite cutie SINGING COWBOY and Artistic Director of The House Theatre wears a dress, and the dashing PETER STORM (Handbag friend and Circle Theater ensemble member)

Friday-
"A Very Special SCARRIE Chaperone Night" featuring Brooke Allen(Theater whore, Handbag ensemble member) and Brannen Daugherty (Bailwick, Handbag ensemble member- star of Rudolph, The Red- Hosed Reindeer)

Saturday- TBA and Anthony Seranilla (SCARRIE alumni/ARIA Salon)

Sunday- FINAL NIGHT TBA and BC Kalz (Handbag ensemble member, Jayne Mansfield in 'Touched by Jayne Mansfield' , 'Indian Lady' in POSEIDON! An Upside Down Musical.

posted by David on 8/02/2005 03:07:00 AM | Link |

 

8/01/2005

My Way of Life- Dating service

Perhaps E-Greetings and Scooby-Doo are a bit tame for you. Head shavings and loin cloths anyone? You just can't make this stuff up..., The link isn't explicit.

posted by David on 8/01/2005 06:26:00 PM | Link |

 

My Way of Life- Dating service

Do you like e-greetings and Scooby Doo? Then maybe this guy's for you?

posted by David on 8/01/2005 05:56:00 PM | Link |

 

My West Coast Way of Life

The Birds in Los Angeles got it's first press. They liked it, they really liked..., Don't writers check on the spelling of names anymore. I can see my name be misspelled (well, actually I can't)...But Tippi Hedren's? Reminded me of the Gay Chicago review when the spelled it Tippi HENDREN. That kind of shit drives me crazy! Journalists, for God's sake, do a little research!

posted by David on 8/01/2005 03:11:00 PM | Link |

 

My Way of Life- SCARRIE LAST TWO WEEKS

We had a FUN Sunday show. A bit 'off', but in a good way. Our Guest Prom Chaperones Greg Allen the FOUNDER of the Neo-Futurists and the Factory Theaters Steve Walker were fucking HIGH Sterical and stupid me forgot to introduce them. They played the worlds oldest Doublemint Twins with shades of Tennesse Williams or Tennessee Tuxedo, I'm not sure. We had some actors there, Mr. Jamie Axtell, some Band Geeks- A Half Time Musical geeks and Pschyo Beach Party folks along with Tim Howard's wonderful parents. I plan to take many more pics while I can.

My SaturdayMonologue with Fillet of Solo so I'm asking begging you to attend myself and a very talented group are performing in the Solo Sampler and I'd liketo see bigger house, so pleasecome see me rant and rave and cry about how 'Debbie Harry Saved My Life' .
She really did. I don't make up shit in my monlologues like others. Besides me there's
Mary Fons, Angela Barker, Dan Telfer, Clare Nolan andTom McNamara. Everybody's got a story to tell and these are ALL worthwhile- I swear.

Remaining dates are :
Friday08/05 at 7:15
Friday 08/12 at 9:00PM
Saturday at 08/13 at9:00pm

I would imagine the last two dates would be when all my SCARRIE children would attend as a sort of big surprise 'WE LOVE YOU DAVID' type of lovefest...

posted by David on 8/01/2005 05:39:00 AM | Link |

 

My Way of Life- SCARRIE LAST TWO WEEKS


We live in a SCARRIE world, that is run by the Superfoxy girls, Jaya, Kyra and Rachel who open the show in their panties and bras, big hair and lots of talent & attitude. I think their combined age is equal to mine. Posted by Picasa

posted by David on 8/01/2005 05:29:00 AM | Link |

 

More SCARRIE


Blue eyed cutie with an angels voice, Ryan Lanning who plays Tommy Ross trying not to look horrorfied as comedic genius Ed Jones spackles on his face. . Besides being cute, he's sickeningly nice. At least he smokes, so he's not perfect. Posted by Picasa

posted by David on 8/01/2005 05:27:00 AM | Link |

 

SM is Stage Manager, you dirty minded person!


The always smiling Serena. SM Extraordinairre Posted by Picasa

posted by David on 8/01/2005 05:24:00 AM | Link |

 

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